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"If I Could Turn BackTime"
Welcome to the 2nd week of 2019. I woke up today and found myself still adjusting to this new normal. I'm sitting here playing old videos of my nephews so they can see how they were when they were kids. It's been storming so we are staying indoors trying to keep their minds occupied. I've been so fortunate to have my loved ones calling in and checking on me. I guess everyone wants to be sure my head is okay going into my surgery in a few days. I had a 4 hour convo with Dash on Friday and it got me thinking real hard. I'm moving forward step by step with my life. But if I was given the chance to go back in time for one day, would I? For one day, absolutely. Just to live in that time of innocence. That time of our lives like the ages my nephews are now. 2 years ago if you offered me to go back and change things, I would. Now If I were to go back, I wouldn't touch a thing. I'm okay and content with where this journey has taken me. I wasn't before, but as I work through my struggles, I become more okay with it daily. I sometimes just wish I could look back for one second and see those moments, one more time. I think it would give me more clarity and make me more at peace. Hell, it might even give me answers for what to do as I step forward and step into a new life. Time is precious, time delicate. It just goes by too fast and we have to try and make it be on our side. Dash and I were talking about all the issues we have faced over the years. I had been thinking about how hard it was to find my way out of the most difficult times that I have lived through. I still find myself trying to figure that out. Yesterday I watched a film called, "The Only Living Boy In New York". There was a line that Cynthia Nixon had. She said, If you can't find your way out, you find a way through. Let me tell you, the ending hit me hard and I asked myself, since it feels like i'm not finding my way out, how do I find my way through? I wish that line came into my life earlier. I think I would have found my way through the hardest times, a lot easier. I don't know how to find my way through, but i'm getting a clearer idea each day, as the time passes and the days go on. I'll find my way through, I know I will. Who knows, maybe one day i'll be in a similar position asking myself If could turn back time and see how I found my way through, I so would. At least this time, i'll have the words within this story to give me an idea of how to find my way.
Photographer: Steven Nguyen
What I'm wearing: Jacket - Good Fellow, Sweater - H&M, Pants - Good Fellow, Shoes - Calvin Klein
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
Stories From My Life - Chapter 10
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Stories From My Life
(APRIL 17- PRESENT)