"Empire State Of Mind"
Moving is always hard. It is stressful and it can be an emotional ride. I don't have that strength in me to go through one of those rides right now. So instead of fleeing like I did the last time, I have chosen to gradually build up to a moving date. That all starts by leaving. In my case, leaving for the first time in 5 years. I cannot believe that I will finally get to do it, step out of California. I could have easily chosen to go home to LA. That in itself would have been something special. The fact of the matter is, I chose to go and be the one to make the first move and go to New York. Why New York? For me, New York has always been in the cards. It is a cross between what I knew and what I know. I'm an LA boy and i'm now an SF boy. I feel like me having both parts of my dna LA+SF=NY. That just makes so much sense, you know what I mean? At the same time it is very much so out of my comfort zone. It is a whole coast away from everyone I love (minus Jenny & Tonee who live on the East Coast). One of my major factors in choosing New York is, they don't know me like California does. I am so fortunate to be a California boy. I am forever blessed to know life in both nor cal and so cal. I love California and I miss home (LA) terribly, but right now that LA story of mine is still on pause and will continue when I feel like I got a little more under my belt. Even if a little more turns out to just be this one week in New York. It is not a guarantee that I will live in New York. It is an option. At the start, I was going there for someone and not me. I mean apart of it was for me, but now i'm going there for me. I'm going there to see what a life could be. I don't want to talk about that other aspect of this story because that in itself is an entry of its own. This here is to talk about owning up to what is best for yourself. As I was going through remission I had some fallouts behind the scenes. Dan, Courtney and Dash were the ones who I vented everything to. They were the ones that helped me choose me. So I finally did it. I wasn't about to wait anymore. I had to make the first move against the trouble life gives. I got my ticket to New York last month. 3 weeks after surgery. Now I leave on Monday afternoon. I'm actually leaving. My parents are all for me moving. Everyone I love is all for me moving. We all can agree I overstayed my 3 month stay by 5 years. I never thought I would be stuck here that long, but it worked out well, I would say. Because of my eye and everything that I have gone through and continue to go through, we all agreed, I shouldn't take this trip into the unknown, alone. So Dash, being an amazing sissy, offered to travel with me to New York to experience this with me. She has never been there as well and she will help me through as I try to get a feel of what could be. I'm a mixture of nervous and excited. You know, I don't think I ever wrote this in here or shared this, but I always wanted to move to New York. When I was writing my last album, "Let The Music Be Your Guide", I always felt the next logical step was New York. From a narrative point of view and from a life point of view. I wanted to move there and work on my 3rd album, after the promo tour that would have been. I felt the experience I had from making LTMBYG shaped itself a sequel in New York. That is why Missing Puzzle Piece, I Will Find You and The Fighter aka tracks 8-10, they all reference New York, from settle hints in lyrics or certain instrumentation. Those 3 specific tracks are set in New York and the East Coast. Even though I never stepped foot over there, I felt it in my soul, there is something there that I need to experience. In a weird way it kind of caught up with time. I'm writing my 3rd album and i'm most defiantly going to write about my 1 week experience in New York, with more to come... I hope. I wanted so badly after what would have been, I wanted to go to New York and get inspired, live that life and this may sound silly, but I wanted to go there and fall in love. My career means everything to me, but love does too. It inspires me and gives me hope. In return love gives me music and gives me stories to write and share. I 100% still believe that is possible. Whether that is falling in love all over again, or something else that is yet to come. Fairfield broke my heart and turned against me, LA showed me my dreams are alive and well, SF took my pain and turned it into my strengths, New York.... What will you bring? We'll just have to find out together.
END OF CHAPTER 11
Photographer: Courtney Johnson
What i'm wearing: Coat - Alfani, Hoodie - H&M, Jeans - H&M, Shoes - Lugz
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
Stories From My Life - Chapter 11
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Stories From My Life
(APRIL 17- PRESENT)