"Gypsy"

Dear readers, 
Happy Halloween. It has been a long time since I have been excited for this holiday. I haven't celebrated sine 2013. It's been 5 years and now i'm giving in and letting out my inner gypsy. I always said I wanted to dress up as a member of American Horror Story's Coven. I have finally risen to the challenge and can mark that off my bucket list. This whole month has been non stop family, sweets, and celebrating. You know, I went into Spirit Halloween store every week this past month.... I had no business going in there, but I just got so hooked on the holiday. I binged The Haunting Of Hill House and Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina and I have watched every episode of American Horror Story Apocalypse on the day it releases, plus I paid to watch it early on  FX+. That's how much I devoted myself to this wicked holiday. I feel like we celebrated Halloween all month, so come Wednesday, i'll probably just pass out candy, not unless the boys want to go out for a 3rd celebration. You know, when you have nephews and nieces, or sons and daughters, you start to get more into these festive days. Seeing the joy in my nephews eyes as they see all the pumpkins and watch Nightmare Before Christmas on endless repeat, it can tug the heart of anyone who has a heart. I searched all over to find the perfect coat for my costume. I couldn't find it so I settled on this vintage blazer that was longer. When I tried on my look, little JJ was with me and I introduced my nephew to fleetwood mac and the stunner that is gypsy. I got to try my costume on and transform in front of my nephew and it was just so cool to see him so enamored with the different look Uncle DD put together. I decorated the house this year. I think I spent a good $300 on new decorations. We didn't have any, so I had to start from scratch. My mom used to decorate every year for us. Since i'm here this year, I wanted to step up to the plate. Pumpkins all over the place and I swear I have eaten so much chocolate over the last 4 weeks... Don't worry I actually lost 2 pounds... isn't that something. I told Courtney I want to go to a forest because I just want to get into that spooky vibe. My sister took me where I wanted to go, but first I had to transform her into Mallory from American Horror Story. I know it is a last min costume, but her look served and swerved. To think we started out this bad moon rising journey 8 weeks ago watching The Nun. Now Halloween is coming to a close. There is this sense of fun and youth becoming someone else for a day, or in our case, several days. Some people look at it as an excuse for evil, or scares, or death... so on so forth... but like in the movie coco, this is a day of celebration. This is a time to make new memories in badass and mesmerizing costumes. Especially if you have young ones in your life. This is the time to capture these memories, so when they are our age, they can look back and remember the Halloween dances, Trips to Spirit Halloween, Nightmare Before Christmas Sing Alongs, Uncle DD dancing in a warlock outfit to Gypsy, ghost stories from The Legends Of Guam Book, Conversations about Pennywise and Georgie, kitty kat bars and  Pillsbury sugar cookies. These are things they will remember, and to have a holiday and month to celebrate pure joy, in such a fun way, that is just priceless. I'm so happy my nephews, Courtney, Dash, all our loved ones, i'm so happy they were able to help me bring my Gypsy back to life.... Now i'm wondering what next year will bring... who can I dress up as next year? I'm planning on dressing up, because this year was just so good for me and I want some of my coven magic to carry on over into my next life. I'm so glad Halloween found it's way back to me and i'm so excited to just wake up and feel the pure joy it brings on October 31st. 

​Love, Dom 

Photographer: Courtney Johnson ​

What i'm wearing: Blazer - Vintage Find, Shirt,Suit Pant Shoes - H&M, Tie - Calvin Klein, Hat- Vintage Find

PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title

"Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now"

Dear readers, 
In the spirit of Halloween, I want to share with you an entry from my last "real" Halloween in 2013. It's just a little insight to my mindset. I hope you dig it. 
-D

10-31-2013
Dear diary,
I had today off. That's something I haven't been able to say for a hot second. It feels weird that we just wrapped up my 2nd album last week. But here I am already bored without work. I wanted to dress up today but there was legit no costumes left. So joey ordered me a unicorn mask to wear. You know, like the one Miley has. I also bought a foam finger  that I used to go trick or treating. YES, we actually went this year. I was debating if I wanted to even try and go out. As you know, last year I stayed in and passed candy out to my neighbors. It's so weird how i'm not in my apartment. It's been 3 weeks since I left home from the Honor Society concert and I miss it terribly. This shift of going back and forth from home to home is tricking my mind. I guess I better enjoy this. In a way, this could be my last "normal" Halloween. I don't know what James will have planned for my schedule next year when the album drops. Because we thought i'd have to work, Joey and I had nothing planned for today. Mom's been busy running around town with the fatima so she brought us back food from one of the last rosarys of the day. I told Uncle Robert to put this generic Michael Myers mask on and grab some pillow cases because I WANT CANDY (insert Aaron Carter voice). It seems to me our house and Rich and Melinda are the only ones who still pass out candy. I mean, it is 2013, isn't this supposed to be a thing still?. Let me tell you this Unicorn mask itches and it was hard as fuck to breathe in. Also, I had to hold on to Joey and Uncle Robert because you can't see shit in that. I feel so bad for anyone that is blind, because it was so weird climbing up stairs and not knowing where the hell I was going. I had to use that mask though. If I didn't, I don't think they would be giving an 18 year old candy. We had to go to the neighborhood behind the house because they were the only ones giving out candy. Halloween used to be a day of celebrating for us. It's been dying down ever since I had my very last Halloween bash in 08. I miss that, you know. But I know if I were to have one again, those people wouldn't even show up. They all still hate me for choosing me... get over it people. I have an album coming out next year and better things to worry about than a death threat from a jealous ex friend. At least i'm out keeping up with appearances, even if I am working a mask. I saw ex friends stalking my pics on instagram tonight. Thanks for getting me to over 100 likes, i feel SO special to have your fake ass support. Now that i'm working in the industry, I see some people try to stake their claim and sneak their way back into my life... NOT happening. After spending 2 hours out here trying to dodge bullets by running into former friends, we came back home. At the end of the day it's nice to be here with my cousin and uncle/brother watching American Horror Story Coven. It is so fucking good. It is one of my ultimate goals to dress up as a member from the coven for Halloween one year. Maybe if I have a show next year, I can dress in all black and rock that shit. Doorbell just rang, brb.... I'm back now. It's 20 after 10pm. Mama Nell came over to surprise us as a hobo for Halloween and Nick went as a fisherman. We just spent the last hour around the fire place laughing as mama nell and I danced like crazies on the couch. I couldn't end the night on a more happier note, besides the fact that I got hella candy and 100 likes on instagram. You know how hard it is to get 100 likes? It is so hard, lol. I'm sitting upstairs in my office looking at pictures of the new life I made back home in LA. I see it going on without me. I guess i'm okay with that, I have to be. I know what life I'm heading towards. I know that this may be my last Halloween for awhile, and with that in mind, i'm okay with the fact that at least in this moment I am thriving, happy, and content. What a beautiful year it has been. What a simple, yet great Halloween. Sorry for all the random thoughts as usual... actually NO, i'm not sorry. You are my diary, so put up with my shit, lol. 
I love you though, seriously.
​Love, Dom 

Photographer: Courtney Johnson ​

What i'm wearing: Hoodie - Stranger Things line at Target, Jeans - H&M

PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title

This page is made in partnership with Stories Untold Press

​If you love reading this story and love some fantasy and fairytales -
​Join my giveaway on instagram, for a chance to win a copy of the fantastic new young adult novel "The Crowns of Crosswalk" by D.E. Night along with a special magical box. Giveaway ends Monday October 29th, 2018. 


​"Back To Autumn" (feat. Stories Untold Press)

Dear readers,
I did it, I have successfully gotten in the pre Halloween/Autumn mood. We all know i'm really big on Christmas. I love Autumn and now that i'm all loose and everything, I really wanted to get in the spirit this year. Sure, I wear colors depending on what season it is, but I wanted to go beyond that. My nephews are young and they love the holidays. Growing up my mom always went all out for my sister and I. I used to love Halloween. As I got older it really sort of faded into the back of my mind. Now that I feel much more happier with life, I wanted to feel like child me, back to the autumn of my childhood. 

​Fairytales. There always seems to be a continuous call and response within in fairytales. There may be an ending, but nowadays things get sequels. I was highly disappointed in the ending life gave me last time around, so here I am flipping it upside down, like the hoedown throw down. It's been a very different kind of Autumn for me. I tried to have a good Autumn back in 2014, I really did try. I went to this corn maze in a town called Dixon and my photographer and I got really fed up. This maze was huge and it was extremely hot. I was wearing all denim and we didn't bring a pen into the maze to go over the map. We ended up getting trapped inside for nearly 2 hours. It wasn't until we found a pathway that someone physically made. We went through it and escaped from there. They must have gotten fed up like us. Anyways, it was one of the mast daunting and annoying memories from my early Glaucoma days.  Now that i'm a bit more stable I wanted to experience a small corn patch. Unlike that horrid hell I went through. So as my response to my last life that I once lived, I found a new corn patch to counteract the previous life of mine. It's funny you would think that there wouldn't be something like a corn patch with hay rides in the middle of SF, but I was proved wrong once again. Somehow this city always finds another way to surprise me. I asked Courtney if we could spend the day there. A good old brother sister bonding, surrounded by the beautiful autumn colors bursting through the property. Seeing all the hay and the pumpkins took me back to 2014 when I last went to that corn maze. It hit me that part of the reason I was frustrated over my last experience was because it was still so fresh after Uncle John's passing, my firing, and the diagnoses of my disease. My Uncle John was my grandmas brother and my dad's god father. He was a huge part of our family and our up bringing. He had the most beautiful ranch in the country side of Northern California. We would go there almost every week. I loved spending summers there (that's where i met my "September"), telling ghost stories in the fall, opening presents in the winter, I hated allergies in the spring, but regardless, I have nothing but beautiful memories. My family was at an interesting place around that time. Uncle John passed away, mom and dad once again stepped up to the plate and did a lot for it, I was just diagnosed with Glaucoma and rolling down hill faster than ever. I had just gotten let go from the people I was working with,  and we had to move everything out of the ranch because it was being sold to someone new. I tried to cover it all up by making it seem like I was living a normal life. We all know where that led. I wasn't ready to let go of my life, but my life was ready to let me go. It's sad but true. I cut a huge corner that day at the corn maze. Something I should have never done. I should have stuck it out and found my way out of there. I cut a corner and somehow my life got set back even more. I didn't know how to control my feelings back then. I was so sad  with the fact that we just lost another family member, it felt like an end of an era... It was and I wasn't owning it. I just tried so hard to cover it up and runaway. So here I am now, 4 years later in a new town, owning it. As soon as I walked through Clancy's Pumpkin Patch, I felt like the me I should have felt like 4 years ago. I haven't cut any corners, I just gave in and felt for once in my life, I can take this in and enjoy it. I remember Uncle Johns ranch. I remember the garden with all the huge squash, the chickens in their coop, the go carts, the water slide, the hay fields. It's bittersweet when fall comes around, because I remember those feelings. But somehow they continue to live on in a new way. I got to experience just a tiny bit of that with Courtney at this pumpkin patch. I know somewhere up there Uncle John and all our loved ones that went before us, sprinkled a little magic so that way the sequel version of myself had a much more fulfilling moment. That way I get to go home and share more holiday joy with my nephews as my mom once did for us. 

I'm forever grateful for my upbringing and the memories I had. Now i'm at a place where it is my duty to make new memories and use this 2nd life of mine to really live it out to the fullest. I have to. You know my nephews want to hear stories about our past and present and I want to make sure my life is worthy of the story that I tell them.  That's why I always say, fairytales always have a call and response. Come every autumn, I don't want to fall back into that horrid place, I once was. Instead, I want to go back to autumn, the autumn of my childhood, so at least my nephews can feel a little of that magic.

​Love, Dom 

Photographer: Courtney Johnson ​ & Dom Baza

What i'm wearing: Overalls - Forever 21, Henley - Good Fellow, Boots - Apt 9

​PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title

This page is made in collaboration with Members Only
​
"Still in love with you" (feat. Members Only)

Dear readers,
I'm back, in action and recovering from a weeks worth of partying. The month is coming to an end and i'm prepping for Halloween and beyond. I've been sitting here going over the year so far and I just remembered today is my 6 year anniversary since moving to the place that has always been my home, LA. I've been so in tune with the life i'm living in, I nearly forgot about the life that got me here. I'm at such a good place that I honestly haven't been thinking about the past. I should be caring because that has made me a huge part of who I am now. It's starting to honestly feel like such a blur because life has been a blur. It's been so good and flying by so fast. I sit here today and I remember the young adult I once was. My life is kind of mirroring the life I once had there. I was headstrong and going in headfirst and so many opportunities kept coming my way. It all led to a major event in my life, which was Let The Music Be Your Guide and that whole story which led to my disease, which led us to here. Long story short. Now here we are and more opportunities keep coming. I may not be on my own, as I once was. But I still vividly feel those emotions I felt as I would open my door at apartment 17. The nerves still very much so kick in, i'm still very much that boy, but much better. Being in SF is the closest thing I have to being home in LA. I've been considering going back for a hot second. Now that I can travel, I wouldn't mind going just to see it and see how I feel about it. I'm still in love with LA, I always will be. It's the place where I just belong. When I moved there, I felt the world accept me. It felt so full of hope and love. Like a warm hug from a loved one you love more than anything. I see that happening again now. I used to stay up in my kitchen and listen to the city noise around me. It just felt so comforting. Hearing convos from strangers and the sound of a taxi outside at 3am. Knowing that there is a world around me and we are all just doing our best to learn and thrive with what we are given. I have never fallen in love with a city like I did, LA. It's such a huge part of me and it is so strange seeing my new self combine aspects of the man I was becoming there. If could take  LA and SF and mesh them, then it would be a perfect home. I miss it, you know. I miss it a lot. I'm okay with not being there right now, but hopefully once I step back in town, It will just feel right. I'm making bigger goals ya'll. I made a huge set of goals my first night there... look at what I accomplished out of that. Hopefully the goals i'm making 6 years later, I can look back and they will be fulfilled. No matter where I go in this world, LA is always a beat in my beating heart. I'm so proud of the journey life has taken me on these past 6 years. It's been a ride and i'm gonna keep on riding it. I may be moving forward, but there is no denying, i'm still in love with the boy I became in LA and i'm so damn happy to see him come to life in SF. 

Love, Dom 


Photographer: Courtney Johnson ​

What i'm wearing: Jacket - Members Only, Shirt - H&M, Jeans - Forever 21, Boots - H&M
​
PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title

"Our Lady Of Fatima Part 1" 

Dear readers,
What a week it has been! I'm literally drained. Every October is a busy month for our family. You already know mom's birthday came and went. Now it's time for Fatima day. Since I was kid my mom has brought in the fatima to our home for 17 years. Every year on her birthday she brought in dear lady and we would have a party. This year was the last year for that. That is why we went all out for her sweet 16. My mom is now in charge of an organization called America Needs Fatima. She began her duties last year and her along with my god mother, and my aunt (who's more like my grandma now) have decided to make everything in one and starting next year there will just be one Fatima event, instead of several.  It's bittersweet, but it is comforting knowing that the Fatima event will live on in another form. My family has been here all week prepping for mom's bday party/fatima and the America Need's Fatima event at a local park in Northern California. I grew up in and around the church. My mom raised us on prayers and faith and believing in god and a higher power. She also raised us to love each and every person as if they were our own blood. You already know that in my teens I strayed away from prayer and all these events. I really wanted no part of it. It took me to get sick, to really get into this. That is just the sad truth of it all. I mean, my relationship with god definitely became stronger after my Grandma passed away, but it became a solid rock when I got sick. Growing up in a Chamorro household, you'll learn that prayers are a big part of it. I used to shy away from my heritage but as you can see, I have never been more connected to who I am, than I am right now. It is an honor for me to honor my mom, my culture and everything that has made me who I am. I look to my elders like my Grandpa who came all the way down to celebrate mom's special day and stuck around for the Fatima. What I love about what i have learned from prayers, is that forgiveness is very possible. For some time my family did not get along with my Grandpa. Mistakes were made on his end and you know, that's obviously a huge elephant in the room. I'm gonna be honest, I hated him. I really did for all he had done. I was hurt and I was hurt to see my dad hurt. It took me a while to want to have some sort of relationship with him. That doesn't mean I didn't pray for him. Regardless of all the bad he did to my Grandma and all the hurt he caused our family, I prayed for him. It was through those prayers that our family found a way to meet him on common ground. He's getting older and weaker and i'm not gonna stand here and despise my grandfather for mistakes he made in the past. The past is in the past and we are moving forward. My grandma always said, never have hatred, you may not forget, but you can forgive. It was through Our Lady Of Fatima that he came back in our lives. He showed up last year after being a wall for a good 4  years. He showed up again this year and through our prayers he has somehow become closer to us than ever. Some of you may not believe in god, but I appreciate you supporting my belief. Things like this is important to us. Look at all the good it can do to our lives. I'm so grateful my Auntie Mom has been doing this since the 90's. It's bittersweet to see this incarnation of it come to an end but it's beautiful knowing that people like my mom, will bring the gift of Our Lady Of Fatima to a whole a new audience in a brand new way. This saint and what she stands for is so beautiful. If i'm being honest, I get real emotional sitting there in quiet reading off the fatima prayer. When you are so spiritually connected to something like this, you'll get what I mean. I was talking to my bro Dan, and I said, I tried so hard to hide the religious aspects of my life though my music. I bring up god quite often within the newer songs I am writing. It's not christian music, but he is important for the stories I have to tell. So why hide it? It is apart of who I am and this year I have become so proud of who I am and who I continue to become. I'm at such a beautiful fragile place in my life. I continue to learn new things and evolve with the people I love around me. I owe a great deal of that to those above. I'm honored to come from a household that can bring love and hope to people who may need it. I'm so grateful that my mom is in charge of this, there is no other woman better suited for the job. Why do you think I want to make a change in the world? Look at who's around me, where come I from, how I was raised. Then you'll understand. 

Love, Dom 

Photographer: Dom Baza

What i'm wearing: T-Shirt: Local Guam Shop, Jeans & Boots - H&M

PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title

This page is made in collaboration with the NFL 
Use the #BRINGITALL to share how you'll be celebrating the new football season.

"Don't You Forget About Me" (feat. NFL Bring It All)


Dear readers,
Heres an excerpt from an entry I wrote in my private diary in Feb 2016. This is an unexplored area of my life that I never really shared with the public. It is known, but this the first glimpse into it. I'm at such a vastly different place now and i'm so blessed to be there. But it is a trip to see where I've been and where we are now. Let's take a field trip to the past.  
-D 

​2/5/2016
Dear diary, 
The Super Bowl has come to SF. It's been real festive here around town. So obviously i'm running to a corner and hiding.... As usual.... I know, I should be getting out into the world but i'm too scared to put my best foot forward. I'm excited to see Coldplay, Bruno, and Queen B take the stage for the half time show. Other than that, none of my teams made it to the super bowl. It's bitter sweet but at least the halftime show will be great. I seriously have really gotten into the NFL lately. I love the Patriots. I just have a thing for that team. Plus i'm kinda obsessed with Tom Brady's life. I mean come on, the guy is so cool. Anyways, I just hit 1,200 followers on instagram. It seems like people are watching me. I don't like the content I have been shooting lately. I just feel so unlike me. This year and the past month in general has been rough, as you know. It's kinda bringing me down that everyone around here is having the time of their life... Meanwhile i'm witnessing it and feeling so down. I'm trying to raise my spirit by having Dashia and Jamie come over to watch the game with me on Sunday. I hear there will be a new Captain America Civil War trailer dropping. So take all my money Marvel. All geekiness aside. There is this songwriting comp coming up next week. I'm debating if I want to do it. It's a stretch for me. I haven't done something like this in so long. I mean it will give whatever audience I have left, something to talk about. I'm scared of loosing my small as hell following of 1,200 followers. I'm at the bottom of the stick right now, but I know I have to push myself to give it all that I have. I had such a hard week this week. It took me all week to write in here because I couldn't see on Monday. Sunday night my vision shut off and dad had to guide me around. I was in so much pain. I'm a little off right now, but I'm not me. I can feel myself spiraling downwards and it is not something I am proud of. I have very little ounce of hope in me. But I continue to watch the breakfast club and be reminded that somewhere in me I can make a classic and that I will be fascinating to the outside world again. I mean have they seen me? I'm on so much meds right now, I don't know how i'm writing this. I'm tired, i'm tired of this all. But I still have a little flicker of hope in me. I don't want to be this forgotten guy that just rotted his talent because his vision is rotting. I want to be remembered. I have to fight this depression and feelings i'm feeling. I need to. Hopefully Sunday will be a good day for the super bowl. I hope it can uplift my spirits a little bit and I hope the half time show and drive of the players drive me to do this songwriting comp. I need to. For the sake of my soul I need to I mean it's been a long time since I had the need to even do a touch down dance. I'm in dire need of some sort of good news. I'll fill you in on how it goes later. It's been a long week. I spent majority of it in the hospital. It's time I shut off my macbook for a little bit. Happy Super Bowl weekend world... Like they are ever gonna read that. 
to me - Dom, it's gonna be okay, in the long run.... please know that... reach inside and get out what is needed to give what you can... you can't turn back, and you are writing this for a reason... the world may forget about you, but don't you forget about yourself and what you can do.

Love, Dom 

Photographer: Courtney Johnson ​

What i'm wearing: Jacket - Forever 21,  Shirt - H&M , Jeans - Good Fellow, Shoes - H&M

PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title

This page is made in collaboration with TikTok App

TikTok and I have teamed up to showcase what I'm known for the most, music. Follow me @MrDomBaza for mini covers and more. Join TikTok now to create your own videos on the hottest new social video media app. 

"God Is Standing By" (feat. TikTok)

Dear readers,
It is my mom's 61st birthday. Another year of life for this mother of mine. You can say I am more than grateful to call her my mom. We have been through a lot together. From before birth and now as adults. I've been thinking a lot about my mom. I mean I see her basically everyday, but I'm constantly reminded that one day that will not be the case. Everything I am is because of her. I have traits of both her and my dad, but my mom and I are so similar. I really have been thinking hard about her especially since my best friend Dan just recently lost his mom. Him and his mom were very close. He took care of her all the way. Man, my heart just breaks because here I am celebrating my mom's 61st special day and his is no longer here. My one good eye opened wider than before because of the man I saw Dan become over these last few months and the man he always was with his mom. In a way it has brought me closer to my mom, if that is even possible. Like I said, we are really similar. Seeing Dan go through this path has really affected me. We take for granted our parents thinking that they will always be here. But like my mom always says, you have got to learn what i'm trying to teach you, because we won't always be here. I hate to think that way. It's not a joke to me and i'm willing to step up to the plate for whatever may be needed in the future. I have always tried to be a good son, people always say that I am.... but as I get older I want to be a better son, better than the good I already am. 

I owe my mom the world. She gave me my world. I'm just trying to figure out how to live in it. She says since I was in her womb, she would always play music for me. My love of music, my greatest gift, came from her love of music, and that angelic and strong voice she has. I don't give her enough credit. My mom is an incredible vocalist. She can sing circles around you, she can sing circles around me if she wanted to. She has always been a woman of power. You try to mess with her and she takes you down like a savage, but with so much grace. My mom has always been by myside. Our relationship may seem perfect, but it's not. All children have their faults with their parents. We sure have had our share. But we always come back to each other. My mom raised me on music, respect, love, strength, honor, and faith. She is very religious, not the crazy kind, but she prays a lot. I get that from her too. She always says church is important. If you have time to go out and watch a movie, you have time to go church for an hour of your week. She thought us to believe in the power of prayer and that the power can help you during your darkest times. All the hell my mom had to put up with and some that she still has to put up with... I don't know how she does it. This woman is not superwoman, yet she wakes up at 4am gets things ready for my dad and robert to head off to work, prays, does whatever important things she may need take care of, take care of all of us including the grandkids and grand doggies and gets all this done by 11pm so she can get a little rest. I don't know how she does it. I try my best to wrap my head around it and shadow her so I can take her ways and put it into my daily routine. So far I have failed, but I hope I can catch on one day. Because if there is one thing I have learned, it is so hard to be a mother. Yes, it is hard to be a father... But the woman does a lot of work. We have to give credit where credit is due. For 23 years this woman has been with me from my first steps, to my first day of school, first time on stage, first album, first blog incarnation, the day I woke up and could not see, the day I got diagnosed, the day I fell to the ground and couldn't get back up, to now, me getting up and walking and once again taking my first baby steps. There are too many moments of my life that I could point out and tell you this was more special than the other. Because they are all special in my heart. One thing I have taken from my mom is this song called "God Is Standing By". I live by those words now. The night she left me in my apartment in LA, she told me to listen and learn her favorite song ever. A song called, "God is standing by" by Al Green. I can't begin to describe the emotions I felt as I listened to the lyrics. It was Al Green's voice with my mom's morals. It is my mom in song form. When I hear it everything and every one of those special moments come to life. Including the bad dark moments. Because every single one of them is a lesson that made me, me. When I got sick I would listen to this song every night. I'd put my headphones on and do my best to have some sort of strength. I didn't want to get out of bed most mornings, but my mom helped me up. I often see people my age or people that are older stray away from their parents when they get old, gray and sick. I grew up performing in nursing homes and i've seen what life is like for the people in there. Their kids decide that their own life is more important than their parents lives. So they dump them on other people to take care of them. My mom always jokes, you are gonna take care of me when I get older right? I always say HELL NO, someone else will.. This is all a joke because that someone else will be me. I don't understand how you can just leave your parents stranded like that. That is your mom or your dad. They took care of you, the least you can do is take care of them in return. I saw Dan do that. I had to listen to all his pain and sorrow that he was feeling and now he is in grief mode. He has all rights to be, because he did what a son should. He stood  by his mother and took care of her, as she took care of him. He went above and beyond and put parts of his life on hold to take care of her. Witnessing that made me realize more than ever, that I would do the same thing in a heartbeat. I would give my mom the world she gave me and make it better for her. I wouldn't want to just dump her somewhere when she is worth more than that. In the end I alway go back to "God Is Standing By". I've seen my mom in her strongest moments and her weakest moments. As she get's older I see the song she gave me come to life more and more. I see our relationship mirror in other sons and daughters, with their mothers. I am grateful that I can sit here and write in my diary about how grateful I am to still have my mom. If I could share a piece of that with Dan to bring back his, I would. I really would. But I can't do that. Sometimes we have to let things be. My mom always says keep moving forward. Keep moving forward, no matter what happens. So what I have to say about Dan and his grief, is god is standing by, my friend. When you have trouble don't cry, don't worry, don't ever be discouraged, you just gotta know he is standing by. He is and even if she is not there in person, she's right in your heart. My mom may be here in person, but wherever I go in life, she is always with me. In a weird way we share a voice. Everything that I am, is because of her, there is no denying that. 

Tonight we celebrated my mom's sweet 16. What a party to remember. We are Catholic so we celebrate Our Lady Of Fatima in honor of my mom's special day. We have been doing this since 2001. Every single year the parties get bigger and bigger. Tonight I led the rosary and the music just for my mom. Seeing everyone feel every feel and being one with the family, meant the world to all of us. My mom has an important legacy and place within our Chamorro community. Let's just say, she's royalty to everyone, because she truly is. So many people continuously tell me, you are just like your mom, Dom. That is my greatest trait. Tonight feeling every emotion one could feel, I just feel so honored to call her my mom. This was her last big bday party. After 17 years of doing this, we won't be continuing next year. It is a lot of hard work for everyone and it's time that mom gets a break from her own birthday. It was beautiful way to end a beautiful tradition within our family. I wouldn't have had it any other way. ​

This page is made in collaboration with Batch presents Arno Fall Collection 

What i'm wearing: Jacket & Sweater - Forever 21, Jeans - H&M, Shoes - Guess

Second Hand News (feat. Batch presents Arno) 

​Dear readers, 
Tomorrow is October 3rd. That means we can wear pink... Although I am not wearing pink at the moment, nor am I planing on it, lol. I just felt like starting this entry off with a sly Mean Girls reference. I guess Lyndsay Lohan must be on my mind... don't ask me why, lol. My email's have been filling up with upcoming projects for me and i'm trying to squeeze in everything at a certain time. Halloween is this month and all I want to do is wear fall colors, do fall activities, watch fall movies, read fall stories. I'm basically a walking meme. I spent all weekend eating pizza and had to do some sort of detox over the last 24 hours because my body literally felt horrible. It is a good thing I did a little cleansing because I had to go to an event in the city to celebrate the launch of Arno's fall collection at a store called Batch. Courtney wasn't able to go with me because my poor sister is still out of it post dental surgery. So I asked Dash if she would be willing to come into the city with me and and check out what the event was about. 

Dash has been living under a rock since April and i'm getting my sissy back into the world. She needs to see the light of day, even if it is dark as hell due to the seasonal changes. Sticking with the fall theme this event had a tarrot card reader and Dash is very much into that world, so I was able to talk her into going with me for a night out. I take the train literally everywhere. Since we were kids Dash has always been shook by public transportation and a large fear of heights. I'm glad I was able to take her on her first bart ride. Now she sees what I go through daily. She was a little nervous but we made it to the event, so it was a success. Anyways, it's a beautiful fall night in SF. The weather is perfect, the sun is setting, and we are greeted with wine and good vibes as we walk into Batch. I'm mesmerized by this bedding set that is blue and looks like it belongs in a high class log cabin. I've always wanted to stay in a log cabin. Note to self, add that to bucket list.... Okay back to our night... The event is celebrating Arno's mens collection but there was many options for woman as well. Cause duh, equality... I love going to these kind of events because everyone is in their own zone and i'm learning just by watching the actions of each influencer. I'm a huge gelato fan. Courtney and I always grab ice cream when we can in between our shoots. Batch was kind of enough to give us some of SF's famous gelato from local staple Colleta. After checking out the shoes, some home staples, clothing, and drinking more wine, we jetted out for a late night walk in SF. I'm more comfortable going out at night now. I used to be so scared to step outside but Steven changed my opinion on that over the summer. Dash doesn't live in this part of the bay and doesn't come in often. Poor sissy was going through life for the last few months and just wanted to be left out. She was socially not involved that she didn't even know i'm a master guide here around town now. Dash and I grew up together. She's always been my adopted sister and family sticks together. That's why I always take my family to events with me. I keep my closest loved ones close to me as I venture into this so called social influencer world. Everyday i'm learning what it means to be a social influencer. This event that I went to was the most low key one so far. It was interesting seeing people I see on the internet be so stripped down and human. We tend to build more on our persona as social influencers when we put out content for the world to see and judge. That is why I keep my family closer to me than most influencers do. I live in 3 worlds. The world of music, the social influencing world and the world of my loved ones. If taking my family on a field trip into one of those worlds will help them get out of the house more often, then that is what I will do. I lived in a tower for years. We all know that. I don't want that for anyone, especially people I love, like Dash. It's more fun being apart of the 2nd hand news than reading about it the next day... no offense guys, lol.

I leave the city for a week after Sunday. My mom's 61st birthday is Thursday and we always have a party. It's basically a family holiday every single year for us. I have to make a stop in Napa to pick up some things for her but after that I am in the outter bay for a whole week. So i'll be seeing Dash and others that I love during that week. I'm looking forward to spending more quality time with the family I get to go home to. It's starting to hit me, I won't always get to go home to them. Sooner rather than later i'll be the one reading the 2nd hand news. So for as long as I can, i'm gonna have them be apart of my world first hand until I have to venture on this journey alone, once again.

​Love, Dom 
​

Photographer: Dashia Robinson & Dom Baza

PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title