This made is made in collaboration with 7/11 and Pokemon Detective Pikachu. 
I grew up loving Pikachu and Pokemon. I’m just obsessed with the little guy and I’m so excited for Detective Pikachu! Just in time for the movie, 7-Eleven is your one-stop-shop to get exclusive Pokemon Detective Pikachu products. From collectible straws, toys and even a Mystery Slurpee Flavor. 7 Eleven is the place to catch all your Pokemon exclusives.

"Gotta Catch Em All" 

Dear readers,
I'm still in a Avengers hangover. I think I will be for awhile. The things that the film did to me, will forever stay with me. Luckily April is coming to an end we are at the dawn of my birth month. I need more light hearted content in my life. To say that i'm constantly stressing and worrying is an understatement. Things like Marvel and now Detective Pikachu keep me sane in the middle of it all. I got approached to work with my new friends at 7/11 to promote Detective Pikachu. Let me tell you, it's not a job for me, even if it is. I would have promoted it regardless. Little fun fact, i'm a HUGE Pokemon fan. I grew up playing the games on my gameboy color. Pikachu and company were always my favorite. Plus they are so freaking cute. I've been heading to 7/11 since I got back from New York. It's a habit now. I swear I get half my drinks from there and Starbucks. I guess I truly am thirsty for more. Seeing Pokemon all over is that feeling of comfort. I remember when Pokemon Go came out. It was summer and my glaucoma was acting up. Yet I still went out to catch them all. I haven't played for a hot second, but I will get back to it eventually. I have a lot on my mind. I think as my birthday approaches i'll have more to say about it. Just like in the movie, it has this aspect of hope. I'm doing my best to hold onto hope. It's been hard. Going from that incident, to Easter limbo, now to this. We're moving forward but i'm trying to find my way back out. I need to go and physically catch them all. Catch what I want in life. I'm getting frustrated to the max with instagram. I'm wearing my smile but it's been getting harder to get work on there. I don't think people realize little jobs like this mean a lot to people like me. This year is not last year, I got so much work last year. It was amazing. I hope I can still put out content and work with people who want to work with me. I still feel that I have a little left in me to give. Let me give it. I'm glad that the nerd side of my life can get me jobs. Because I just want to tell my story through and through and take it to a place where I eventually can wrap this all up and move on. I'm doing my best to make everything go full circle. And the little amounts of loneliness that i'm feeling is getting to me. I know i'm not alone, but I just want some of the people I love closer to me. And i'm itching to get back to New York. There is something there. My gut just keeps saying, we gotta go back somehow, someway, soon. Along with the stress, worry and loneliness, we are figuring it out. Just like Pikachu and Tim band together and figure things out, I have to as well. I have to go out there and catch every little bit of whats left.  There's a big world out there and I really hope I can manifest this out into it by saying, please don't give up on me. I'm so glad I got to do this with 7/11 because I really needed something to come my way. I hope that more can come and that I can make this story of mine feel a little more whole again. We just have to wait and see what May has to offer. Hopefully something good can come along, once again. 

​Love, Dom 

Photographer: Dom Baza &  Courtney Johnson ​​

What I'm Wearing: Blazer - Chaps, Shirt - Eighty Eight, Jeans - Forever 21, Shoes - Good Fellow

​PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title

"Endgame"

Dear readers,
Whatever It Takes. The tagline to Avengers Endgame. A tagline I think we should use in our own lives. Whatever It Takes. I've always used that tagline. I mean for gods sake, the title track in my first album is called "Whatever It Takes, To Leave This Place". That album was released in 2012. Within the same month as the first Avengers film was released. It was literally such a good time in my life. I had the album made and released. I moved to LA and I had The Avengers to give me a little hope when I needed it, on my own. Listen, everyone and their mom knows that I am the biggest Marvel fan. You can go back to previous pages and clearly see references and events that have played a massive part of my story. Spider-Man was the first hero I ever got to know and fall in love with. Through his comics I was introduced to Daredevil, The Avengers and more. Since 2008 I have attended every opening day of a Marvel Studios film within the MCU. I celebrated my 13th birthday with Tony Stark and heard Nick Fury open the door at the very end, to so many new heroes. You're apart of a bigger universe, you just don't know it yet. Damn, did we not know it. I've gone to the first screenings of every MCU film since Thor The Dark World. It is a tradition that I do my best to keep up with. Even when I got sick, I still kept up with that tradition. The true peak of these films came to me when I got sick. I was always attached to Marvel. There is no denying that. 7 years old to 24 years now, it still has a hold on my heart. Winter Soldier was released as my eye was getting worst. I remember I fought to see that opening night. I was not well that day and I fought my way to make it so I could witness Bucky Barnes become the Winter Soldier and watch as one of the greatest political thrillers unfolded before me. Guardians Of The Galaxy was released as I was in the hospital literally everyday to keep my pressure down. I loved it so much I saw it 3 times during opening weekend. It was the comfort for my soul that really needed something fun and light hearted. Avengers Age Of Ultron released at a time when I was at my darkest place. I cried so hard before that premiere. You don't even know what was going through my mind. That day I was given 5-15 years with my sight. I will always remember that day. I may have been down, but I would not miss the premiere of a movie that I would see 3 more times up until my next major eye surgery on May 27th 2015. Ant Man was released in July 2015 and I had injections earlier that day. My eye was bleeding, I was in pain, but I was not going to miss Scott Lang's MCU debut. Civil War was released in 2016. I was in the deep depths of hell. In and out of the emergency room, my eye was at it's worst. I still made it to opening night. I went with Dash and my cousin along with her friend. I sure as hell screamed when my spider-man showed up on screen for the first time. I'll never forget the chills I had seeing Tom Holland steal my heart. He hasn't returned it since, nor do I want it back. I've always wanted to see Spidey within the MCU and for him to come in at time when I needed a little more hope, i'll never be able to repay that gratitude I felt. Dr Strange, GOTGV2 and then my Spider-Man Homecoming. That film forever holds a very special place in my heart. It was the first solo MCU Spiderman film. It was so hot that day and I just remember treating that day like it was my wedding or something. I was so excited knowing that I get to see the film on opening night with Dash and then the next day with my nephew. That was the first film he ever saw in theaters. I documented that here in my diary and it is something that will always stay with me. Taking him to his first MCU film at the same theater I saw the very first Sony Spider Man aka Toby M when I was 7. What a full circle moment that Marvel had given me. Seeing that joy and wonder in his eyes will always be something that I cherish, all thanks to this cinematic universe. Thor Raganarok was released at another shitty low point in my life. But hey, I went, and damn did I fall in love with it. I have since seen that film 20x or more. It is one of my favorite films in the MCU. I cried so many personal tears earlier that day. Thor, Loki, Valkerie, Korg, Meek and the Hulk made me feel so at ease and really just turned my frown upside down. Along came the historic Black Panther premiere which I witnessed first hand and will forever be grateful I was in the audience when Chadwick Boseman forever became the Black Panther.  Plus a guy told me I was hot before I entered the theater, so that was a HUGE confidence boost, even though i'm in a relationship, it's nice to know people still think fondly of me, LOL. Infinity War was an experience i'll never forget. Once again my eye played apart in this. I knew I was getting surgery a week prior to that film releasing. I was not about to miss it. I showed up with my walking stick and my Nick Fury eye patch. I gasped, laughed, cried and felt every emotion in the human body all up until "Mr Stark, I don't feel so good". It was the ride of a lifetime and a movie experience that i'm so glad my illness didn't hold me back from. Plus I got to work with Opposites to promote the film. I got to wear a Spider-Man suit... Talk about a dream coming to life. I cherish that suit, even though my other half hates it, lol. It just made the experience even more special. Antman & The Wasp released at one of the happiest times in my life. It really was the most at ease I have been throughout the whole MCU journey. Captain Marvel will always be the bookmark before I entered New York. I'll aways have the 2 connected as one of the most insightful periods of growth in my life. Now that i'm back in SF to finish my endgame, finish what I can so I can move on with my life. Endgame is finally here. I have so many emotions going into Thursday evening. I literally had to document how i'm feeling because I know I am about to be apart of history when I witness one of the biggest events take place before my eyes. This is something I will share with my kids one day. I will be there as the world watches the ending to the greatest movie saga ever explored on screen. I have such a close connection the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It goes beyond the films and my heart feels so close to these for all the reasons and more that I listed before this. I am so thankful that this film saga has been here with me through a lot of the major points in my life so far. I can't imagine a world where I didn't have these heroes to look to on screen, to better myself off screen. I literally don't know how to feel, other than feel every damn feel in my body before I watch Thanos get his purple ass handed back to him. It's true, we are in the Endgame now, Dr. Strange. The MCU and myself. This part may be ending, but our story is far from over. As we all move onto the next saga of our lives...

And hey we all know i'll be back when Spider-Man Far From Home Is Released. and that right there is my post credit scene, SUCK IT FURY AKA MY TWIN... LOL, JK. 

​Love, Dom

Photographer: Dom Baza

What I'm Wearing: Flannel - H&M, Shirt- Marvel Collection, Jeans - H&M, Boots - Forever 21

PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title

"I guess I just feel like"
"God Only Knows"

Dear Readers,

It's funny how life works. I write an entry before this about dancing through the hate and then life decides to slap you right across the face with a part of your past. Out of all weeks too. It is holy week and Easter is tomorrow. You know, you can run and move on from the past, even the dark moments. It will always be apart of your history though. You can forgive, but you never truly forget. I usually write something uplifting this time of year. I mean, I would consider this uplifting, but conflicted as well. Something happened to me this week. I'm trying to find my way around it. Apart of me would love to just write it right out into the world, but i'm not that kinda guy. I don't disrespect that part of my life. It is a hard line to walk in between. But I figured the best way to talk about my feelings is anxiety and depression. I've made it clear that i've had to dance with the 2 of these illnesses over the years. I was just reminded that it still very much is alive and apart of me. I had one of the worst anxiety attacks this week. For those who have been hurt, abused or done wrong, you know that feeling when you see your abuser out there in the world living life freely? That feeling when you are doing fine then you get punched in the gut and things just fall apart. That is how I feel. Or how I felt. I'm at different state of mind right now. I was not in the right state of mind. I tried to write down how I was feeling but I was too drained and emotional to even write a single word down. Like I said, you can try to move on. You may have already moved on, but you'll always have some sort of reminder of the wrong doings done to you. I wasn't expecting what happened to happen. I freaked out... badly. I kept my mouth shut while I internally screamed. My best friends along with my inner thoughts, have asked me, what would I do if the situation that happened this week, happen to me? I always answered, I do not know. That moment came and I can tell you, I ran. I don't know if my heart and my mind could take that moment and confront it face to face. Not yet at least. I'm strong, but i'm not that strong yet. I'm still figuring out my mind. My mind is fresh out of the tower it was locked in. Yes, I just jumped far away to New York.. but this right here... I mentally can't deal with that. I am doing my best to move on, but damn it, it hurts. What happened not only messed with my life, it messed my mind up. I was sick for gods sake. I wasn't well. I was going blind. I just wanted the one part of my life that was going amazingly well, to stay in place. Instead it was crushed right before my eyes. I didn't even have a chance to do what I had set out to do. I was destroyed. My heart was broken. It was broken by promises not kept. It took me so long to heal from that. I'm still not fully healed. I'm still figuring out what that part of healing is. It is like loosing apart of yourself that you can never get back. I know i'll never get that part of me back, I got something else now. I'm cool with that, but the sting of the pain that was done to me, i'll always feel that sting. I can forgive what happened, but I can't forget. I had to forgive myself, because I thought it was all my fault. I was apologizing to everyone for this illness that took down every aspect of my life. I never had to apologize. If anyone should be saying sorry, it is anyone involved in helping to bring down someone who was already down. I never really had anxiety before Glaucoma and the wrong doings done to me. But now I go into a corner and close up and away. I can't take that reminder because it brings me back to the darkest moments I have faced. You can put on a smile and yes, be happy. But when you go home and your'e by yourself,  it hits you. Every thing you have gone through hits you like a wrecking ball. The only way I can cope with anxiety is letting it pass. Doing things that make me feel whole. Eating or drinking comfort foods that make me feel me. I have to be brought back down to earth, because I can't enter a path of depression that makes me want to just end it all. I've been there. I know what those feelings are like.. Let me tell you, not only is dark, but there comes a point where you nearly cross the line and pray that god brings you back. Because once you do that, that is that. Your'e done. Every little potential to do better is gone. People think you can just push these feelings away. You can, but they will always be somewhere in your mind. It takes one person or something to activate it and send you down a downward spiral. If there is one thing I have learned, speak up. That is why I document every feeling and write it in this diary or through music. You can't close up forever otherwise you will explode. Anxiety and depression is real. It is as real as the sky you look up at. Moments like what happened to me, will happen. You can never prepare yourself for that, but you can prepare to help get your mind back on track. It hurts like hell. God only knows what i've gone through. But it is up to us to sort out what we are feeling and pick ourselves back up. I wanted to just stay in a ball and cry. But what good is that going to do for me? Jesus went and died for our sins and came out stronger and ready to take on a new day for us. So I got up today. I wasn't happy. I got out of bed and told myself, to write down how I'm feeling now. Because even if it is not much, these words can help someone. If I let this bring me back down, then what happened will overshadow every good thing that I have done to move on from it. It will make it seem like the past that was before me is still in charge of me. I am in charge of me. This is not your story, This is not your life. This is not your career. My mind, my body, my voice is NOT YOURS. Sure, the tears i've carried are inflected by the rage and pain that was caused to mentally scar me forever, but I am in control now. It may seem like I am alone, but hell, I am alone and free. This next phase of my life is not for you to bring down, like before. I will not let what happened happen to me again and I will make sure that I use the voice you think you gave to me and tell my story my way. So how do I feel now? I feel fired up, sir. I'm not about to be brought down by a moment in time. I have so much to give, and just because the people who were apart of my journey don't have what I have, can't give what I will give, doesn't mean they will bring me down. It is Easter tomorrow. Jesus will rise and so will I. Everyday is a test. Everyday is a struggle. It is up to me to make it through and do my best with what I have. You can overcome. I'm still overcoming. It may seem like I have it all together. I don't. It takes time and time is all I have. 

Love,
Dom 

Photographer: Courtney Johnson ​​& Dom Baza

What I'm Wearing in "I Guess I Just Feel Like" : Sweater - Vintage find, Jeans - Good Fellow

What I'm Wearing in "God Only Knows" : Vest - Gap, Shirt - Forever 21, Jeans - H&M

PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title

"Let's Dance"

Dear readers, sometimes what you have to do is walk the walk and talk the talk. In this case dance the dance. It's not even 2 weeks and i'm sort of fed up being back on this California soil. I'm not fed up with my surrounding but i'm fed up with some of the people here. So I went to the burger king in Union Square to check and see if they have the Detective Pikachu toys. They didn't, so I left. As I was leaving this weird woman pushed me hard and said I was in her way and that this was her corner of Burger King. I'm not even joking. Those were her exact words. I literally only came in this fast food joint to see if they had Pokemon toys... I didn't come here to argue about a corner. I saw she was probably mentally unstable. So I put my hands up in the air and let it go. I didn't want to have to deal with SFPD and have that be a welcome back present. She really pushed me hard though. So lesson of that issue is to make sure you bite your tongue when they are crazy like that. Starting a fight with a crazies is not worth it. I ended up going to a party with my mom. It was one of our families members birthday and I didn't want to miss it, because I promised him I would come. So I showed up and all I see is family that I haven't seen since October. The last public event I showed my face to was the Fatima. I try not to attend these things because it literally is one huge fake show. I can't stand these people. They act so nice and then when you turn around they begin to talk so much shit about you. So this woman, we'll call her Dumbo.. mainly because, I don't know if she knows this, but people call her Dumbo behind her back. No disrespect to the actual elephant who is flying in cinemas right now. Dumbo greeted my mom and asked where a certain member of our family was. This member couldn't make it and Dumbo had to drop her unwanted opinion. Dumbo said this person should have been here because when this person dies, no one will show up because this person doesn't go to events or gatherings. First off no one asked for this unwanted and unnecessary opinion. I love my island and I have respect for my elders, but some of the ways that these people act is so unfortunate. To have that be the first thing that pops up in her head. Really? In my culture and where my family comes from, parties and events are important, but you don't have to judge someone because they can't make it to this event. You don't know what is going on behind closed doors. For Dumbo to just think about the people showing up for someone when they pass away or for parties and what not, that's just fucked up. That is the one thing I don't like about Chamorros. They think parties are the whole world and that everyone in our community needs to show up and support because when it is our time of need, then they will feel they have to show up. The world doesn't work that way. It may be like that in Guam, but this America and that whole point of view is pointless. You people feel like it is a must that you show up. Then when you show up, all you do is judge and talk shit about everyone. I swear I went to a funeral once, and this other woman was like, this is so sad but this person who died did this bad thing and this bad thing. It was so disrespectful. I don't care what bad the person may have done, they didn't kill anyone, so shut your mouth and let this family grieve and let this person rest. Did they personally offend you? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't show up. I used to go to every single one of these events when I was kid. Going to this birthday party was a reminder of why I don't go anymore. I love the person that we went for, but I loathed half the people in that room. It was completely disappointing to hear what Dumbo said. Because Dumbo is not perfect and she thinks that she is so loved by every single person. News Flash, your'e not. Maybe if you changed your attitude and stopped pretending that you just slayed your circus show, then you would finally wake up and come back to reality like a normal person. I keep my distance from these events. I know how these people are. They act so nice and then they turn around and hate every little detail about you. It is just further proof that the family I have is the family I make. Not the family that the chammoro community thinks of as a whole. It's sad but true, I truly have outgrown these people and it just reminds me, this is not my place anymore. I still have a ways to go before I leave here. Not long, but still a good amount of miles. The only way i'm going to survive these next few chapters is by sucking it up and dancing this dance. People want to roll this way, i'll roll this way. I'll be laughing all the way to the town line as I put on my red shoes and dance. Because I can't live here for the rest of my life surrounded by all this hypocritical people who want nothing else, but to bring you down. 

​Love, Dom 

Photographer: Courtney Johnson ​​

What i'm wearing: Sweater & Jeans - H&M

PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title

​This page is made in collaboration with Mixt 

Back in the bay and kicking off this farewell run of chapters with some bright colors. It can be difficult to find healthy fast food options in the world we live in today. Trust me, I know. As someone who doesn’t eat meat i’m pretty limited at most food chains. On the other hand @mixt fills the void and delivers what I need to keep me  eating healthy and full. Their staff is beyond helpful, accommodating and so friendly. They prepare every salad or meal on site with sustainably and responsibly sourced ingredients. There is something for everyone. I was given the suggestion to try the “ritual” salad. My god, was it everything. Not only does it look so photogenic, it is genuinely very filling  and so delicious. As and added bonus, we all know I love kombucha, they have Health Aid on tap. YES PLEASE. So what are you waiting for!? If you are in the bay, the Oakland location is now open and is located off Broadway and Grand Ave. The San Ramon location will have it’s grand opening on April 27th. The first 250 guests will receive a tote bag filled with Mixit goods. There will also be balloons for kids and samples from favorite local neighboring brands. Head on out and try out this salad and whatever catches your eye at the fantastic Mixt. I want you to be able to experience the great service that I had, I also want you to fuel your body with the healthiest options. So that way you’ll be strong enough to get out there to write and live your story.

START OF CHAPTER 13
​
"Note To Self"

Dear readers, 

Welcome Back To San Fransisco. It's been a minute. New York was everything and more. I guess what they say is true. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I really miss New York. I didn't think I would miss it as much as I do, but damn, it's like I left a part of me there to grow while I go back to SF. Being back in town has been a little weird. I feel like I came back here better than when I left. I also feel like I owe it to this place that has, in a way protected me, to give the best of me and what I can offer before I say goodbye. Majority of everyone that I love, lives in and around this area. As I obviously did some soul searching on the East Coast, I'm now back in SF with goodbyes in mind. I'm not leaving here yet, but I will be sooner than everyone thinks. I want to take these next few months and make more lasting memories that I can look back on when I'm in New York and beyond. I know that when I leave, my family won't be coming with me. I don't want no regrets and wasted time for the rest of the duration I am here. I feel like I conquered SF and did so much. But there is still a little more juice left in this bottle. I want to use it up and create a little more magic. I know that I won't be able to remake versions of my family in New York or wherever I decide to go, but I can at least forever stabilize my bond with them here and in my heart. I also feel I have a little more learning to do. Specifically from my parents. It was a little rough being out in the world again, it is doable, but I don't want to have to question motives or struggle more than I have to. Little things like cooking and simple house work, things that I wasn't doing when I got sick. Those kinda things, I just want to get that beyond 100%. If i'm going to be living with someone that I love and taking that next step, I need to take the next step for myself, as well. Obviously when I returned, the first person that I saw was Courtney. Let me tell you, if my sister  was portable and can fit in a carry on, New York and wherever I live, would feel so much more complete. I'm so glad to have been able to see her when I returned and vent about our travels. She just got back from following her favorite artist on tour. Now she's in a finale stretch of her own. College graduation is next month. To say my sister is graduating college already, feels so weird. Because it flew by before our eyes. It is a reminder that we are once again at a crossroad. Dash obviously got back to her usual routine, a little bumpy for her, but we are fighters. No matter how sharp the blade is, we handle the pain and do our best to move forward. I know she's missing Morgan and I do too. That's my vegan roomie, lol. It's weird living apart now, so as of these last few days, she's been staying at our house for a little. Kinda like a mini reunion. I know she's at a crossroad too. When I leave, I hope she goes too. I think her moving with Morgan would be magic and that just gives us all and excuse to have a roommate reunion. SF is crazy as usual. I went on bart and had to squeeze myself into the bart car. I mean come on, on the subway, I never had that problem. Maybe it is because it runs constantly and bart actually has longer wait times, but it got hot and uncomfortable. I say this now, just wait to leave again and i'll miss it, lol. I went to Oakland and attended the grand opening of Mixt. It felt nice to get back to a routine that I have kinda grown to know. No one could go with me though. Courtney had to go to Florida last minute and Dash was at home resting after getting sick. So I went on my own, it's all good though. It felt kinda weird walking the Oakland streets without Steven. I miss my little bro. I texted him to check in. I literally went MIA from everyone for a month because of New York. I hope he's not upset. But I miss him and hope he's well and finds his way back into a page of my life before I leave. Anyways, I showed up to the event and Bridgett from the Mixt marketing team was on hand to greet me. Let me tell you, this was one of the most welcomed welcomes I have received in awhile. I mean after dealing the rude people in New York, it was nice to have that Cali kindness shine through Bridgett. She introduced me to her colleagues and literally helped me out and gave me suggestions on what to order. I'm more public about being team no meat now. I mean have you seen the fire I have been eating in New York. THANK GOD Bridgett is keeping that flame alive. I had this bomb salad called the "ritual". It was filled with some of the yummiest greens and colorful veggies that my boys would probably say NO THANK YOU UNCLE DD, THAT IS TOO HEALTHY, lol. Their loss, because I devoured the whole bowl. That carrot ginger dressing is stuck in my mind. I swear, I gotta go back and get it, even if it means riding in a sweaty bart. I mean it though, it was such a kind and warm experience. Bridgett and everyone that I got to see along with the kind staff, made me feel this a good start to a long ending. I wasn't about to half ass this story of mine and just come back with a final page or two. I have been through so much here and that would be injustice to those that I love, this city and myself. As I walked away and back to bart with a smile on my face and full stomach, I looked around Oakland and knew I was back home in SF. From the crazy people on the street, to the laid back kindness, to me and Courtney hitting up our matcha joint, to the full bart cars. That's home and wherever I go, I won't forget that feeling. I also knew and felt something was different. My purpose has grown. New York somehow is bleeding into this life here. I get to go home to my family and Dash is staying with us. So it's kinda like the 2 are combining and prepping me to take that next step I talked about. I grew a little more from being away from here. I left some seeds planted in New York, so that way I can water them from afar. So when I return, it will be more grown up than when I left it. I'm excited to see what will unfold over the next few weeks. I hope that I'm able to make those memories that I want to make, learn what I need to learn, experience whatever I can, also make a few more new friends and make memories with them, continue to grow out my long hair (that is somehow turning gray, SALT AND PEPPER HAIR HERE WE COME) and figure out what is best for my heart and the protection of it as I move on. This right here is one long note to myself. A note that i'm going to keep re reading to keep my head on straight as we walk towards the town line that I will step over, once again, very soon.

​Love, Dom 

Photographer: Courtney Johnson ​​

What i'm wearing: Jacket - Calvin Klein, Jeans - Goodfellow, Shoes - Lugz

PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title

"You've Got A Friend"  & "You Gotta Be "

Dear readers,
​New York our time has to come to an end for now. I swear this last week has went by so fast. As we all know, I was so conflicted when I first stepped foot here. I felt kind of lost. This last weekend really showed me something that I didn't see til now. New York is one of the loneliest places in the world. Well, it is lonely if you don't have people to share it with. I felt really uplifted this weekend. My heart started to begin to feel full. I went and performed my first gig at this place called "West Park". It was like a church or something, it used to be a church. I was nervous as fuck. I'm Dom Baza and as we know Dom Baza does not get nervous. I only got nervous because this was the first moment I truly felt I was out in the world again, not just out, but alone. I had to test myself. I showed up and had no idea what I was doing. I didn't even understand how to enter this building. Luckily for me, I figured it out. I went in and sat in the back by myself. I obviously didn't know anyone so I searched the room for someone I might be able to connect with. I saw this dude, he looked somewhere around my age and went up to him and introduced myself. It turns out it was his first time at West Park as well. His name is Jesus. Talking to Jesus really made me feel comfortable. It is so weird going to a venue where you don't know anyone. It kind of took me back to school, in a way. Having to go up to a random stranger and talk to him, is not something I am used to. I'm glad I did though. We talked about our music, our lives, our upbringing. He was born and raised in New York. It was so good to get to know someone new and make a new bro out of it. I mean, we all know i'm kinda limited on guy friends. Get to that more in a bit. Anyways, Jesus... what an artist. Usually when I go to events like this, I see wannabe rappers rap about the most unnecessary things. Jesus on the other hand, my god. What a real, honest, badass, who was born to tell stories through music. I have nothing but praise for him. In fact, I was a little shook. In SF, I don't see artists as good as Jesus, that make me want to push myself harder. Jesus and his song was something special. There are rappers and there are artists, Jesus is an artist. I'm glad I was there to witness him perform his song. We text now and I swear to god I want to work with him, perform with him, anything to have this guy in my life and career in some shape or form. I want Jesus on one of my fucking songs, because he's so real and in a world of fake people, guys like him need to be heard, so all the fakes can learn a thing or two. He's just too damn good to not be heard. I can't speak anything less because he is so special. He made me regret leaving this place. Because if I had my choice, I would be working with him right now instead of writing this in my Brooklyn bed. But, since i'm writing this, let's continue... After my new bro, Jesus, it was my turn. I'm so fortunate that my sissy Dash and my vegan roomie Morgan, were able to come and support me. I really thought no one I invited would be able to make it, but they pulled through and I was so happy to see them standing there. I performed my songs "2nd Chance to do it all right" & "Behind Those Closed Doors". Both of which are written for my next album. I started so bad, but I couldn't stop, because as a performer, you don't stop. The show must go on. It wasn't so bad, but on my high standards, I wasn't proud of it. I couldn't see my guitar on that stage. I played 4 wrong chords, chords that I always ace. I was livid about it, but thank god for my vocals making up for that horrid piece of shit. Thanks Glaucoma, you really came through during my first gig, with clear glasses, in a freaking other state AND 1 year after taking off from performing. It's nice to know you're still around.... NOT. I don't need reminders of my illness, but that was a reminder for me. All of that put aside, I pulled through and got it done. I'm proud of my vocals and thankful that my soul was able to shine through. These songs mean the world to me. Everything that i've written for my next album, that is my story. I have lived all these words. The songs are the feelings that I can't express in this diary. I think when people say that I just love how you sing from your soul, that is because i am. I have felt all these emotions and I mean every word I say. It turned out to be a good night. Jesus had left and the girls made a friend with this comedian, Deborah. So therefore I made a new friend in her. We chatted for a bit and i'll make sure I grab a matcha latte with her when I return. I also got to talk to this incredible musician Craig Donovan. He's originally from New York but lives in DC now. He came to perform some of his songs. I couldn't leave without introducing myself. I wish I got a photo with him, we will next time. I really wanted to connect with him because his music spoke to me as well. He sang a song about friendship and I just really loved the pureness of what he stood for. I know when I like something a lot, and his song was something I loved. After we exchanged contact info, I promised myself I would stay in touch with him, because he is someone I really want to work with as well. I'm so glad I did this gig, because I don't see a lot of real musicians with real messages around SF. Friday night proved that New York has that option for me. It also for the first time, felt like I can get into this more and be here and thrive as an artist and as a person. 

Saturday came along and I could not contain my excitement. Today was the day that I finally got to see my friends Victor and Jon. Remember how I said i'm limited on guy friends, well now I have 2 that I can talk about. Being with these 2 guys really meant a lot to me. My best bro, Dan, lives in Germany. So to be able to have friends in a place where I'm at and talk to these guys that I look up to and have so much respect for, that really meant the world to me. I've known Vic for a few years. 2, I believe. We met through instagram. I remember just being mesmerized by his fashion choices, world travels and the way he is just so confident in all that he does. He always stood out to me. Like you see him and you just know that guy is a special person. We would talk through dm and instagram support groups. It wasn't until I dm'd him on New Years Eve and was like hey, here's my number! text me! Since then we kept in contact. He's known about my intentions to move over to his side of the country along with some other things that I don't really publicly address. I met Jon through instagram as well. I remember the moment he dm'd me asking for advice on this whole fucked up instagram world. It was last May and I was on bart going to shoot at the beach. The "I Am A Chamorro" entry, look it up if you want to read it, it's a few chapters back. Anyways, it was dark and the complete opposite of what California should be. Talking with Jon made my boring as hell train ride more entertaining and ever since then we have kept in touch. He had asked if I knew of anyone in the social world over in New York. I sent him Vic's ig and now the 2 of them are hella tight. Which makes me happy, because they are both good people. Jon just started this influencer life about a year ago. But this dude is blowing up now. I mean him and Vic put together, they are 2 of instagrams most popular male influencers. From their style, to their genuine attitude, they make you want to support them because they just stand out as 2 guys who have something good to offer. We met up at this Vegan restaurant. Thanks to Vic, I now have a place where I crave their chickUN and waffles before leaving on this dreaded 8 hour flight, lol. Seeing both of them in person and in front of me, really was something. I honestly felt a little star struck, they would probably laugh hearing that, but come on, they are killing it. I'm so grateful that they made time for me. Cause all the other guy friends, minus Dan, Sam, Xav, Pete, and a few others, they never made time for me. Little things like this, I cherish. I love my sisters with all my heart, but sometimes you need to be surrounded by dudes that get you. I hope what I'm writing doesn't scare them off. I really want to hang out with them again. I called Pietro and was like babe, they are so amazing. He was like, you really have no friends, LOL. All jokes aside, I really hope I can see them again soon. I would love to continue having them be apart of my story and my life. Cause I mean it when I say, they are so special and one of these days they will be the new IAmGalla and forget that former influencer who ditched that social life for music, lol. They aren't those kind of guys, but they will be something bigger than they could ever imagine. Me writing this down is manifesting that into the world. They deserve it. And when it does happen, i'll be supporting them all the way, as I do now.

Finally Sunday. My last night in New York and I choose to perform. I mean what else would I do? Performing is what I love to do and I wanted another chance to share my soul with this city that needs a little more of me. You'll understand what i'm saying in a few. Anyways, Dash somehow woke up early this morning. Talk about a miracle. She's been sleeping in and taking hours to get ready. She freaked me out coming into my room to talk about our shared, but very much so, separate trips. I'm glad she got to go and have so much fun, while I went around figuring out if I can have a life here. Living with her and Morgan has been so fun. I'm so glad Morgan was brought into my life. She is forever my vegan roomie. It was nice to have her here, to share meals and conversations about our lives. Dash and I both admitted it was bittersweet saying goodbye to this place. It felt a little more bittersweet for me, because I know next time, she won't be with me. It will just be me against the world and at first I wasn't okay with that. It wasn't until after I did the open mic last night, that I felt okay being here on my own. I knew that no one would be able to make it to watch me perform last night. So I went by myself. I was so lucky I got to talk to Dan after Dash went back to her room. He said it will be good for me to do this on my own. I need to, that way I can see who I am without anyone else. I went and aced this subway ride. I made it to my stop and didn't get lost. I literally walked to my gig from the subway. I showed up at this bar called "Session 73". It was very loud and more out there than WestPark. I sat at a table by myself and waited for my turn. These 2 comedians went up before me and I literally could not hear a word that came out of their mouth. The place was so loud and people were just kinda rude to everyone that performed up there. I knew I wouldn't catch their attention unless something drastic happened. After the comedians these 2 very very very good artists, Lorenzo and Madi took the stage. These damn people were so fucking loud that they almost drowned out Lorenzo and Madi's soulful original songs and covers. I was very impressed. For god sake, Madi put her own spin on Britney Spears and when you sing Britney and strip away all the Britney and make it your own, YOU GOT MY ATTENTION. I was impressed, especially with her vocals. Lorenzo went on after and damn man, that dude is so cool. I wish I got to talk with them more, because they seem like the kinda people I wanna hang out with and collab. I'm happy and lucky I was able to get a hold of them, because I would be slapping myself if I didn't... Back to Lorenzo.. he reminds so much of this singer that I love. His name is Billy Raffoul. They look like twins, google Billy and check Lorenzo's ig, you'll get what I'm talking about. Anyways, Lorenzo took me back with his vocals and the words within his songs. I love when I can feel an artists heart and soul meet in the middle. I felt that within his music. I went on after those 2 and once again sang "2nd Chance" and "BTCD". I knew the audience would be loud as fuck, but i'm glad I went up there and showed the people who paid attention, who the fuck I am. I don't stand for rudeness at gigs, especially when artists are giving it their all, but i'm not from New York and I have learned how they roll. It is just in their nature. I would love to come back to Session 73 though. I think if it was another night, the audience may be a little more considerate towards the people performing. I loved the vibe though and i'm glad the host and bartender were complete sweethearts. After I left the bar I went to a cafe and sat for a bit. I started outlining the thoughts I wanted to write about in these entries. I took one last sip of my matcha latte and headed back to the subway. As I walked, I felt a breeze that felt like a breeze from home. By home I mean, both LA & SF. It wasn't cold, it wasn't hot, it was just right. I saw a family get off the subway. They were looking for a restaurant and they didn't know where they were going. But they seemed to be okay getting lost, because that meant they get to see things they never saw. I saw couples holding hands as they headed out for their nightly walk. You could tell they do this daily/weekly. I already knew it was their way of unwinding from a long week. There was something so beautiful about all of this unfolding around me. I loved how the sun was setting though the buildings and the way New York finally felt a little more positive, especially after the rude crowd. There was something different about the air. Something in me felt so good about this place. Seeing what was unfolding around me, made me start to really see a life could unfold here. I guess it was the fact that I just replayed every moment from this last week. Every moment led to this moment of me holding my guitar walking to the subway, feeling a California breeze in New York, seeing the quiet hustle and bustle of a Sunday night. I can't describe it the way I want  to, but I hope you understand what i'm trying to say. "You Gotta Be" by 90's icon Des'ree came on my shuffle. It was the  soundtrack in my ears as this all unfolded. It was a reminder that, yes I can do this. Yes, I can see myself living here. Yes, I can see myself thriving here. It will be difficult sometimes, but i've gotta be strong, i've gotta be tough and I gotta be wiser. 3 things that i'm pretty good at, considering my history. I feel like I can do something good. I also feel New York needs me as much as I need New York. There is no one like me here. No one has my history, my back story, there is only one me. I believe that this version of me can grow and expand all while giving New York something it has never had. As I close this up and step back to SF, I just want to say that New York, you got me. You somehow managed to cast your spell on me before I leave to the airport. I can see myself falling in love with this city and I can see this city getting to love me a little more. I'm so grateful for anyone who has been kind to me these last few days. From Deborah to Craig, to a brand new bro in Jesus, to new friendships I hope can expand in Lorenzo and Madi, to my friends Vic and Jon who I adore so much, to Morgan for being the kindest roommate and friend, to Lieb and Cynthia for welcoming me into your family and making it feel like home, to Dash, coming on behalf of my loved ones, in a way, to give me away to a city that I think is willing to work and grow with me. This is my first of many more weeks to come in New York. I've learned so much more about myself, just from going around by myself and learning how this place works. It is so similar to the places I call home, but it is so different and different is good. Because that means i'll have new things to learn and experience as I grow. I leave here with more hope than I came with. We all know I have a lot of hope, but now I have even more. I still hope you come so I can experience this with you. This right here is not directed at my diary, but to you. Seeing everything made me want to experience this all with you by my side. For us to grow together as we go. Really, one of the biggest takeaways is seeing a life here is possible. I hope you'll be able to pull through and see that as well. I just spent some of my last hours in Brooklyn writing down literally every thought I've had over this last weekend. I know I will read this back and feel so fulfilled with this trip and my small time in New York. I gotta sign off now, but New York, we started rough and I know not every day will be the best day. But, I want you to know, you did something to me and now I feel a whole new set of blank pages await for me when I return, because our new story...
is not yet done.

​Love, Dom 

END OF CHAPTER 12 
​
Photographer: Dashia Robinson & Dom Baza

What i'm wearing in "You've Got A Friend" - Jacket - Good Fellow, Shirt - Forever 21, Jeans - H&M, Shoes - Apt 9

What i'm wearing in "You Gotta Be" - Jacket - Forever 21, Sweater and Jeans - H&M, Shoes -New Balance 

PRESS PLAY
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title