the lovers. the dreamers... and me

Prelude.
Once Upon A Time...
There was a boy who accepted the world. He was lost for a while, that was out of his control. You see, he grew up in some tough situations. There's a lot, but we're not gonna talk about all that. Let's just recap... When he was 19 at the rise of his music career, it ended in an abrupt halt. He got diagnosed with a disease called Glaucoma. He went from singing in the studio to getting 7 major eye surgeries. Then when life once again hit a rough patch, he got hit by a car and almost died. He turned his back on the world, but somehow, in time, opened his heart to the idea of it. Once his heart opened, he fell in love. From that love he learned and continues to learn the hard lesson of choosing yourself first, instead of drowning, trying to save a sinking ship over and over. He let down every wall and let his loved ones in on a deeper level. He did new things, not just normal things, but things that he would never have tried. He chose love over fear, and that's what brings him to where he is right now. From a small town called Fairfield to the Santa Monica heat of Los Angeles, to the twin peak lights shining through San Fransisco. It all lead him down the yellow brick road, to the mad brick, big apple, New York, New York. Over the years he dreamed of being in the city of dreams. After every high, every low, and after he reaccepted the world, he's ready to take his place and do what he was always born to do. He's ready to right the wrongs, and take all the good that came from the bad and make something new out of it. In a beautiful, but delicate world, filled with so much negativity, he chooses to stand above the rest and bring reality back to the drowned out, auto-tuned song that the world has become. There are lovers, there are dreamers... and then there are those in the middle, where lovers and dreamers meet. So who is this boy? Well, duh, it's me. I'm Roydom Lucian... and this is my story. ​

CHAPTER 1: Welcome To New York
Entry #1: "The Lovers. The Dreamers... And Me."

Dear readers,
Oh a fresh blank page... it's nice to fill you up with words. ​ Hello from New York, New York. I'm Roydom Lucian. Think of me as the male Carrie Bradshaw, but 100% more grunge. I mean, I like to think of me as the male Carrie, but that's some high competition right there. Anyways, I'm new to town. I just arrived from San Fransisco, CA. So I obviously haven't got a taste of the "Sex and The City" lifestyle, then again, that's not my thing. Like Carrie, I just write A LOT. As you get to know me, you'll know I don't tend to leave that many details out. Long story short, I am a singer-songwriter who got screwed over by higher-ups, who just failed to see beyond an illness. For the last 5 years, I've been sick with this disease called Glaucoma. Then last year, I got hit by a car and almost died. So from going blind and nearly seeing the white light, that's probably why I went full-on grunge. I mean when you fly off of a minivan and land face forward to the ground, you don't become "Superman", more like, the poster boy of a crime scene. Anyways, all these stories are for another entry and another song. With all the bad juju that happened over the last 5 years, I was ready to bolt from Northern California. I have moved to the city dreams, because I am here to reclaim my place in the world and show people the new life that breathed into me, via all the bad that has happened. I was once another person, but I arrived here as who I have always wanted to be. For so long I struggled with who I am, but I now feel like I have the most confidence I have ever had. When you're on top of the world and the world kicks you out of it, it's hard to get back into it. It's hard to feel accepted, but I never lost hope, even in the moments I was willing to lose hope. For me to feel accepted, I had to accept myself and all that has happened. There's no going back to who I used to be. My mom always says, 'move forward'. So that's what I've done after these hellish last few years, I've moved forward and it brought me to New York City. 

I ain't gonna lie. My first few days here were SHITTY. From the hot mess that is my apartment, to getting the flu. It was rough. I don't regret leaving California, but I sure as hell regret what I arrived into. I wasn't even able to enter my building until some godforsaken hour. I'd rather not talk about anymore of it, because my head is in such a better place now, regardless of my very much still shitty apartment. I have to remind myself, it's not about where I live. I am here in New York City. I took this leap, on my own, WITH this illness, to a city that is so far from who I used to be. I'm not gonna lie, it can get lonely. It was at first, because no one really gave me the time of day, except for one. When I came to visit New York in my last life, I made a brother named Jesus. Yes, like Jesus, god’s son, lol. Oh Jesus. Not only has he become my best friend, but he's more than that. He's my brother and he's my family. He took me in when the world tried to shut me out as I banged loudly on the front door of my apartment building at 3am. When I met him in March 2019, it was god's gift to me. He's not just my brother, but he's honestly the most talented rapper in New York. I mean that. All these years i've been looking for people like me, people who have voices that have important things to say. That's Jesus, that's me. You put us together and the possibilities are endless. On day 3 of my new life here, he introduced me to his cousin Julio. You may see me refer to him as Julius. It's an inside joke, you'll figure it out as this story goes on. Anyways, thanks to my brother Jesus, Julio also has grown into one of my best friends and brothers. In a short amount of time too. Deadass, I would be so lost if J never introduced me to Julio. He has shown me around, introduced me to his friends, his beautiful family even took me in as a family member, heck our convos have gone real deep, so we're bonded for life now. Both of them, together, accepted me right away, and turned my shitty arrival experience into a life I could only dream of, from the hospital hallways I once roamed.

​I don't know who's genius idea it was for me to arrive here during the holiday season... oh wait, that was my idea too... oops, lol. Within my first few days, it was Christmas time. Over the years with my job, I have been able to make friends from afar, so I had one other friend in Brooklyn, named Urszula. Luckily she was in town to spend a whole day with me. She's pretty well known. Just google her and you can see she is a star. Not just any star, but she's seriously one of the coolest girls and she's also basically the QUEEN of Brooklyn. I've been in this social influencing game for 5 years now, but I've never experienced being a New York influencer. Urszula took me out to the Paul Smith holiday party. Reminder, this happened on my 4th day as a citizen of New York City. Not many people would be lucky to say that. So, I just jumped in and went for it. It was so cool to see things from an East Coast perspective. It's very different from SF and where I come from. It's going to take me a second to adjust, but I know I will. As the event started to wind down, Urszula and I headed out for a night on the town. From a cocktail bar in the lower east side to a comedy club/bar, also on the lower east side. You could say my first week in New York was pretty eventful. I got to meet some cool people at the holiday party and at the various bars, we went to. Like Sam. Sam is one of Urzsula's friends. He's a model from New Jersey. It was great to meet another non-New Yorker, but still here in this city for one reason, dreams. Like me, Sam is here for a better life too. I guess Urzsula knew I needed to be around kindred spirits. The 3 of us parted ways close to 2 am. Which is weird for me. I usually am in bed by then. I guess this is my first late-night New York experience. Which is why I'm writing about it. I don't want to forget it. I never had nights like these in California. Even when I was on my own in LA. These little things mean something to me. I've never lived a life, and I'm glad to see myself start to take little steps like these. 

These little steps out into the world would not be possible without Jesus and Julio. After my eventful night with Urszula and Sam, Julio took me out the next day. We walked all over and just talked about everything and anything. I needed that. There is something about those boys, they make me feel like myself, they make me feel at home. We ended the night in the heights. The heights being, Washington Heights, New York. I got to go eat warm vegan food. Listen to me, EATING WARM FOOD HAS BEEN A GIFT FOR ME. I have no damn stove in my apartment. So when a place has warm food, I'll take it. It was so good too. Ugh. Enough about that, otherwise I'm gonna get hungry. Seriously though, I meant what I said, our convos got deep. I knew in that moment, this dude will be around for life now. As the week went on, Jesus found his way over to my apartment. Let's just say, my brother gets what I mean when I say, this place is not what we expected. I swear I'll go more into depth on this whack place, later on... Anyways, we got to write for a few hours. We're in the process of writing something good. You know Jesus is part of the reason why I came back to New York. When I saw him perform in March, it did something to me. So, to be in a room as artists and brothers, writing about our experiences, it meant a lot to me. It still does as we continue on this pathway we are building for us. When I left California, my family told me to find my family here in New York. These guys, Jesus and Julius, opened the door for me and welcomed me into their families. A family supports each other through it all, through and through. I hope my brothers know, now that I'm here, our lives will be really different. By different, I mean different in a good way. I feel like we are creating a unit and a team, via our bond. I don't know what it is, but I feel something good is around the corner for the 3 of us. Speaking of meeting their families, Julius invited me over to spend Christmas with his family and Jesus. So, I accepted the invite. I'm lucky I even get to be around family during this time. So that meant a lot to me.

As Christmas day approached and I headed to Julius's, I started thinking to myself on the subway. Man, how lucky am I to be here in New York City. After all that I've been through, I somehow managed to escape the remains of the tower I was locked inside of. Sure, I came to New York to grow and expand upon myself. But let's be real, I came here, because I know I can get back to doing what I'm meant to do. What is that? That's my music. I know in my heart, my songs were meant to play out loud over this city. I know I have to eventually go back to LA, but New York has to be my first stop, on a journey that I know will lead me back there. I felt it in my bones, in my heart, and my soul, when I was here in this city, the last time. Deadass, I still feel it right now. I came here to create a bond with likeminded people. To create a unit, a brotherhood, a sisterhood, a family, all of it. I came here because I know it is possible. I did all that I could in SF. I did all that I could as the man that I used to be. Being sick for so long, I never got to prove myself. I'm here to prove to everyone, but mostly MYSELF, that living life and fulfilling your destiny is possible. When I was really sick, I had no one like me, to look up to. I'm not looking to be a role model, but I am looking to make an impact. Yes, I want the Grammy, the fans, the touring life, all that good stuff. More than anything, I want to make my words, my story, I want all of it to make an impact. That way, if someone ever feels the way I felt, when my life turned to hell, they can say, if Roydom Lucian can make it through, and rise above it all, then we can too. So, sure, my new life in NYC started a little off-key, but, I know myself. I know that in a city filled with lovers and dreamers, there is me... and I'm different than most people. They haven't gone through what I have gone through, to get here. I have these seeds planted within the brotherhood that is growing, the new experiences I am going through, all these changes happening daily. What that becomes, I guess we'll just have to find out together. As the A-line headed to my destination, the prerecorded message on the train speaker said: "please be seated"...  We're in for a wild ride, everyone. Welcome to, New York. 

​Love, Roydom Lucian 

Photographer: Chris Lopez

What I'm Wearing: Coat - Alfani, Shirt - Hugo Boss, Undershirt - H&M, Jeans - Levis, Boots - Doc Martins, Necklace - Seek Discomfort