Nothing On You (feat. Seek DISCOMFORT)

CHAPTER 1: Welcome To New York
Entry #2: "Nothing On You"

Dear readers,
New Year's Eve. What is it about this night that makes everything feel like the calm before the storm? I mean, it's always felt like that. Even when we did not celebrate it. Let's be real, we barely celebrated NYE in California. It just isn't that big of a deal for my family. We clean, we pray, we sleep. That usually is our NYE, lol. However, this is the first year I am not living in California. I am now a New Yorker ringing in the New Year in the city that appreciates the ball dropping at midnight. As I leave behind this shitty year called 2019, I look back at the few moments that impacted me. For example, I went to my first concert since getting Glaucoma, I met one of my best friends, and now brother, at an open mic in NYC, I went to NYC and fell in love with it, I saw my baby sister graduate college, I went to the premiere showing of Spiderman: FFH with my nephews, I had a big bon voyage party and now after months of hell, I got out of California and moved here to NYC. It's not a lot, but it's enough to say that parts of the year were special. Going into 2020, I want to make it clear that this year is going to be much busier and brighter than ever. It's already different than all my other NYE celebrations. Tonight I am going to celebrate NYE with my brothers, Jesus and Julio. I never celebrate this holiday, so I have a feeling this is going to be so special for me. 

Before I headed up to the heights to be with my brothers and their families, I got to meet Chris. Chris is one of Julio's closest friends. He's a recent music major grad and a FANTASTIC guitarist. Julio wanted us to meet because I'm looking at putting together a band. I need a band to back my music on stage. Once I have a band, I'll be able to do bigger shows. All I need is a band, and my re-entry to the music industry could truly begin. Julio already knows me well enough, to know that Chris and I, clicked right off the bat. Man, we just bonded. I missed this kinda bond. When I was working in the music industry before, I had this kind of bond with my last band. Chris is different though. He's younger but has a fresh outlook on everything. We went to central park and jammed for a while. I got to play some of my stuff, he got to play some of his. I knew from the moment that he started playing guitar... and singing, I needed this guy in my life. Not just for my band, but as a brother. I don't even think he knows this, but I saw our relationship flash before my eyes. I won't give it long until I call Chris one of my best friends. Let's be real, it's bound to happen. I'm glad we got to spend time together and get a clear understanding of where we stand for what I want to do... For what I want us to become. This step is huge for me. It is a really big step because I want to go all-in, in 2020. That's exactly what I plan on doing. I guess this is another part of my life that I will have to thank Julio for, lol. This is looking to be like the new trend for 2020. That trend being, thank Julio for everything, lol

As the day turned to night, I made my way over to the heights. It's packed in NYC. Everyone is headed to Time's Square to watch the ball drop. It was so packed that the MTA kicked everyone off the subway because they had to shut it down. I'm still new here, I kinda freaked out. I didn't know where I was. All I knew is I had to get out of there. So I called lyft to take a car to my destination. I arrived at Jesus's place a little later than I intended. But, I made it. I'm so glad I got to be with my brothers for NYE. It's a nice change of shift for me. I got to meet Jesus's side of the family and I settled in and ate along with them. It was a good time surrounded by beautiful souls. As we counted down to midnight, Jesus, Julio, and I said goodbye to this shitty year, and hello to the great unknown that is 2020. We left Jesus's house and went over to Julio's aunt's place for a little after-party. Never in my life have I seen a more loving and lit NYE party that late in the evening. It was a blast. Everyone was dancing and just celebrating love and life. I was getting a tiny bit tipsy, not a lot though. I was sober enough to remember all these details. The boys and I hung out with Julio's brother, Alex, and sister, Jenny. I love those 2 as well. I met them on Christmas, and we just clicked. They are the best, and I'm fortunate enough to call them family now, as well. Julio's uncle kept handing us drinks, so the boys started to get more drunk than I was. We figured it was a good time to leave the party and head back to Jesus's party. So we said our goodbyes and took a short, but loud walk back to Jesus's place. By loud, I mean, we sang "Nothing On You" by B.O.B and Bruno Mars on the street at 2:30 am. Out of everything from that night, that moment there, I think that solidified our bond even more. I'll now always look back at that moment, as one of the happiest moments of my life. I'll also look at it as the starting point of the calm before the storm we are about to create this year. When we got back to Jesus's place, everyone was asleep. We didn't want to wake anyone, so we deadass walked back over to Julio's aunt's house. When we showed up, Alex and Jenny had left. So we just hung out and rang in the first hours of the New Year, watching everyone dance. As the last of the party continued to party, Julio decided to proclaim that 2020 will now be the year of JULIUS. Now you see where the name comes from, lol.  Hey, its a fancy name and we are about to do some fancy things in 2020, lol. As it got later, Jesus was already falling asleep on the couch. So I walked him back home, got him there safely, and spent a night at his place. As my brother went to sleep, I laid down and felt nothing but grateful for the fun night I just had. It meant a lot to me, to be surrounded by people, I now call family. I never had a New Year's Eve like this one. I don't know if I ever will have one again. What I do know is, I'm grateful that I got to end such a bad year, on such a happy note. It's all thanks to my brothers. That song may be about girls, but I interpret it this way now - Nothing on you, means nothing on our bond, our brotherhood, and the greatness we are about to share with the world.

As the morning came, I woke up and felt very weird that a whole year had just passed. I left 2019 behind, and now here I am at Jesus's place on the first day in this year of the unknown. When Jesus woke up, he got ready and we headed out to brunch. We went to this Gossip Girl kinda brunch place. Let me tell you, it was everything and more. We just sat there making jokes about the world that was around us. It's different than the world that we come from, but, it's also kind the world we will be living in one day soon. It's very meta to be on the outside looking in, it's nice though. One day we will be on the inside, remembering what it was like to look from the outside. That moment will come. I know it will, and when it does, it will hit each of us. After we finished brunch, we walked around central park, eventually leading us to Time's Square, and then back to the heights. Yes, we walked all over and just talked about everything and anything. We talked about our past, our present, and our future. There is so much that we both want to do, and together we can help each other get there. All of us, from Julio to Chris, and anyone else that comes along, we can get to our goals. It is 100% possible. I could not have asked for a better first day of the year. It was calm, it was so calm. The storm is brewing within us, and when it releases, it will become surreal for all of us. 

When I got home to Brooklyn, I thought about everything that came before today, everything that came before this first day of 2020. That was another life and another person. In 2019 I set out to do things that would push me past my comfort zone. I took the first steps in doing that when I boarded that plane in March 2019 to visit this city that I now live in. Now that I'm in 2020, I have to do that constantly. It is all about growth. The changes we go through and the challenges we face, it takes us to places that we never thought we could go. A year ago I never saw myself spending New Year's day walking around New York with my brother. Now here I am, way over the lines of comfort and learning new things about myself, that I didn't even know was inside of me. This feeling of happiness within my soul, I never had this before I moved to New York. Then there are the motions of letting down even more guards, that I didn't even know I had put up. 2019 was shitty, but, I'm so grateful that the tail end of 2019, brought me to this moment... I'm glad I got to plant the seeds for 2020 within everything I'm starting via the bonds we are creating. As we grow and let our lighting strike all over 2020, I know that whenever the storm becomes too much for me, I can always go back to the calmness that happened before it all. The calmness in the joy, the laughs and the smiles everyone had on New Year's Eve, 2019... and the joy in my heart as my brothers and I sang "Nothing On You", drunk, at 2 am, enjoying life, and finally taking the steps to live a little. 

​Love, Roydom Lucian ​

Photographer: Alex Chavez

What I'm Wearing: Jacket - Vans, Hoodie - Seek Discomfort, Pants - Uniqlo, Shoes - Vans, Hat - H&M, Glasses - Rayban