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Dear readers,

It's back to quarantine business as usual. To think that this is the current new normal. I know that the rest of the world continues to bitch about being locked away, but I've genuinely kept myself busy. I'm actually kinda tired right now. I am never not productive. Since locking myself away I took on the 100 days of sweat challenge for the 2nd time in my life, I sing and keep my machine oiled, I cook every day, I read every day, and I try to learn something new. I keep myself focused and in the zone. That way once this situation we are in takes us into its new world, I'll be ready. I should share some tips on how I keep myself focused. I will. Not today, but I will. The key to living life right now is to move right along with it. Even when you can not move, you set your mind to move forward. No one has time to be stuck in the past. If I'm being honest, I thought about doing that, before continuing to write in this diary of mine. I honestly didn't know how to move this story of mine forward. Now, I have a better understanding of how to move it right along. A lot of these thoughts are my inner thoughts. 

Dear readers,
Today was my last complete day here in NYC. The whole city has been clearing out and going into self-isolation. I'm clearing out along with them. I am leaving back to California tomorrow evening. How the hell did this happen so quickly? I think I will always ask myself that question. I'm writing these thoughts down on my subway ride home to Brooklyn. My last ride for a while. Tonight we had a going away dinner for me at Urban Vegan. I'm so glad the family that I have become apart of, could make it out tonight. This is surreal for me. I'm so used to seeing them every day. Now that won't be the case for a while. I don't know how this whole quarantine thing is going to work, but I'm pretty sure that means none of us can travel back and forth after this week. I can't come back to New York for a long time, and the boys can't join me in California for a while. I have had to mentally prepare myself to say goodbye to New York and the family that I now have here. I met up with Chris earlier than everyone else. We went around and bought some souvenirs for everyone back home in California.

​After that, we met up with Gio. Gio wasn't able to make it to my dinner, but, I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to him. I have grown close to that dude. He has become my brother. I admire Gio for his talent, kindness, humor, and drive. I always have praised him and that will never change. I can't stress this enough, but, I'm so glad I became close to him. When I think of Gio I always think of 2 songs. "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" by Lauryn Hill, and "New York, New York" by Frank Sinatra. The first song I don't even know if he knows this, but he sings it a lot, lol. I remember we were in Think Coffee and he just started singing along to it. I'll never forget it. It's been stuck in my head ever since. Anyways, it is the little moments like that, when I'm not feeling myself, I'll think of times like that. Then the 2nd song. I remember we were both having this long convo about different things. Mainly the changes that were occurring in our lives. He told me ya know that song, "New York, New York", with the line, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. At that moment, he gave me the little recharge that my life needed. Things like that, I'll always keep with me, wherever I go. I hate that I have to say goodbye right now. Gio and I were going to go bike riding over the summer. That obviously can not happen now because of what is going on in the world. Hopefully one day, we can make that happen, when it is safe to do so. Gio, thank you, brother. Thank you for accepting me and making me feel comfortable. Thank you for our deep convos and mad laughs. We'll go for that bike ride one day, soon. I'll see you when I can, I love you, bro... After we parted, Chris and I walked the empty streets of the west village and headed to Urban Vegan. We were so lucky that Urban was still open for sit down dining. Most restaurants had abruptly stopped their sit down dining because of the fast-rising COVID-19.

Dear readers, 
You would think it would be easier to get a plane ticket out of NYC because no one wants to be traveling right now... WRONG. I couldn't even get through to the Jet Blue customer service line. It was so bad that we just physically got up and went to the airport to see if they could change my parent's flight and get me a ticket as well. When we arrived there weren't that many people, but the service desk had a long line. By the time we got there, the lady didn't want to change our flight. She was just lazy. Luckily, mom was there. If you know my mom, you already know she is so straight forward. Not only were we able to change their flight and get me a ticket, but Jet Blue even gave me my eventual return flight for free. That gives me comfort knowing that my return to NYC is set, for whenever the heck it will be safe to return. Thank god for mom and her savage ways, otherwise, we would be stuck in NYC for a long time. I don't want us here for the crossfire when this Corona Virus lights up and burns everything down. Trust me, it is about to. I was already starving after not getting a chance to eat all morning. We didn't have time. I was already tight on time because I had to make it to Times Square for my last rehearsal with Jacob and Chris. I know that I won't be with my band for a long time... but, we already had this rehearsal scheduled. The least we could do was go and jam out for one last hurrah of sorts. I've never been into this studio. It is literally in Times Square. I guess in some weird way, I can cross performing in Times Square off my bucket list. It looks like I won't be able to say goodbye to the other boys. Everyone is sick, minus Dan. I have a keyboardist now.. or should I say had? I am not going to be here for a while. Either way, Dan joined the band while I was away. I'll get to see him at my going-away dinner on Sunday. Jacob made it to the rehearsal studio early. This will be the last time I see him for a while. 

Dear readers, 
Is it me or are the days going by faster than ever? Since I got back here, it's been non stop leading me to a finish line. I haven't made up my mind. All I know is, I'm not leaving New York for good... but I am leaving for a little bit. Does that make any sense? My parents see that the Corona Virus is getting worst, so they want me to come back to California with them. It's kinda difficult to just pick up and leave, but, for my safety, and their safety as well, we're gonna see if this is possible. They aren't supposed to leave until next week. If I do decide to go, I don't even have a plane ticket. We have to see if this is possible. If the rona decides to take over, because it looks like it is, then I know I'm gonna have to leave for my safety. However, I can't leave without tying up some loose ends. I still have a crapload of work to do, and I better hustle, because I don't know when I will be able to return home to NYC. I honestly don't know what life away from it will look like. The world around me is getting weird. I better cherish these last few "normal" moments, because I don't know what will become of all this. All of the boys are aware of my desire to pivot my home base from NYC to LA, but they aren't aware I might have to leave within the next few days, because this Corona is about to hit NYC and the USA very hard. I feel like I have had to speed up my thinking process because I need to make sure I get out of here before things become unsafe. It's weird having to think that way. I'm not thinking about my career and the opportunity that I can't pass up in LA. I'm thinking about surviving the next few months. I don't know, it is all scary. This whole thing is scary. When I said I'm ready to "seek discomfort", I didn't think that would make the whole world have to be out of their comfort zone as well. I just got to this new place. We just moved in everything. I'm not gonna even bother unpacking. I'm just gonna leave things with the boys to keep safe for me. Then I will take them with me when I eventually return. 

Dear readers,
I'm a city boy through and through. But... my heart always craves for the beach. I guess that is the islander in me. I mean, I don't think I could ever live back home on Guam, but, I'll always have a part of myself that longs to be near the beach. I truly am both. Of course one of the first things I had to do when I got back to the bay area, was go to the beach. The beach is like my safe haven, away from the hustle and bustle that drives my mind places, in the city. I think that's one of the aspects that I miss most, now that I live in NYC. Somehow I feel like I have meshed the 2 coasts together. I use both coast's slang, I combine my CA style with my NY style, to create my own vibe, and of course, I use the lessons I learned in SF to my advantage in NYC. I have meshed the 2 together. Let's be real, I rubbed off some of the west coast, to my new family in NYC. When I left SF, I knew my story there was done. I also knew where to leave room for more of California. It's no secret that I chose to go to NYC first, over LA. I did that for a reason. For me to feel fulfilled, I needed to move to New York first. I would have loved to go home to LA right off the bat, but there were missing pieces that needed to be found in New York. I just didn't think I would find a good chunk of those pieces, 2 months into my new life. Now that I have them, I can technically leave New York. But, leaving would be a disservice to the growth that I have gained and continue to gain. I also don't want to rush those pieces and create art that feels half-assed. Instead, I will now bring to life the mental roadmap I created before moving to NYC, and begin to travel the outline of the yellow brick that will lead me back to LA, within a year. Within a year gives me and the pieces of my puzzle, enough time to create and be apart of something more than ourselves. I can't believe I'm saying this, but, I'm only planning on keeping New York as my home base for another 9-12 months. Time moves so fast, especially in NYC. Somehow these new elements that I have been missing, keep coming to me every single day. I know more will come along the way when I return to NYC. But, if it continues this way, I already know when I have my eventual return to the west coast, mainly LA, I'll feel like a whole person, as opposed to half of what I could be. 

Dear readers,
Learning to go with the flow is not easy. It's a challenge, to say the least. For me, as I continue to adjust to this new life of mine, it's very intriguing. It's constantly changing daily. Parts of my old life somehow come into play within this new life of mine. I have constantly been seeing lessons that I've learned over the last decade come back to help me in these new parts of my life. It's been a blessing to see it from this new perspective. My vegan lifestyle has truly come into play here in New York. I was never going to not carry that over into my new story. Back home in SF, every corner does not offer vegan options. But, in New York, it's a whole vegan world here. Deadass, every corner has some sort of vegan option. I have been in food heaven. For those of you that don't know, I do not eat meat... I can not eat meat. With my illness, I have to be very careful with what I put into my body. I chose this, to give myself a chance to have a little more years added to the amount of time I was given with my eyesight. If I'm being honest, I'm glad this was an option. I love not eating meat. It feels so right for me, and my body has adapted, accepted, and loved this diet for the last 3 years now. All my fam here in New York eats meat. Although, I have been getting them on my vegan train lately. So much, that Julio and Gio tagged along with me for my favorite vegan chef, Gaz Oakley, and the launch of his new collab meal at Wagamama, the vegan sticky, Asian 'ribs'. 
It feels like the boys and I have spent the whole week together. Come to think of it, we have. I'm glad they could come along with me at a very interesting part of our story. A lot is going on with us, in our professional, and personal lives. So, it's been a relief to have days and events, like this, distract us from our problems. Anthony came along as well. Anthony is Julio's best friend. I met Anthony about a month ago. The first day I ever met him, he witnessed how horrible I was at video games. Not my fault, I wasn't playing any games while I was living the hospital life, lol. Then we went and got drunk at this Irish bar and didn't get home until 3 am. The whole night was so fun. It's something I'll never forget.  Especially since it was one of the first fun nights I've had in New York. Now we live not too far apart from each other. Anthony is like the definition of the cool guy the other guys wanna be. Think Jake Ryan from 'Sixteen Candles', but the modern, slicker, more laid back version. The complete opposite of Julio's outgoing and bubbly personality. I get why they are best friends though. My best friends, even though they are my family, we're kinda polar opposites. That's what makes us a good fit. Anyways, he's a cool dude and the kinda guy that more guys should take notes from. I mean that. His style and his vibe rocks, and I'm glad the dude is now apart of my life too.